The Best Years of Our Lives

It was a summer morning, just after Sunday Mass. My mom was talking to another parishioner (remember, Mom? It was Rhonda), and while I don't know how it came up, I vividly remember her saying, "I don't know why people say high school is the best time of your life. Those years can’t even compare to right now. This is the best time of my life, with my family."

That one comment made a huge, perhaps lifelong impact on me.

High school was great. While I had my share of differences with friends, pseudo broken hearts (I was a bit boy crazy, and by boys of course I mean hockey players who had no interest in me) and my first real broken heart, I enjoyed those years. I was a strong student, usually had a great group of girls around me, and got involved to the extent I wanted (which of course meant school newspaper, where I covered the religion beat, and school play, where I had the role of a nun...what do you mean, you see a theme emerging?)

That said, my biggest goal as a child was to be an adult. I've always been responsible, hardworking and serious, which led me to believe that adulthood would be more my zone than childhood. I certainly have my fun, but in the way that I define the word - which may be quite different from how the majority of people would! (I mean, if I had the choice between skydiving and organizing closets...)

My parents raised us right (in my opinion), teaching us that the adults were in charge and had the final say...and that someday it would be our turn. Recently on Live! With Kelly, Ethan Hawke jokingly lamented that when he was a kid, kids were the second-class citizens. Now, as a parent, parents are the second-class citizens. When does he get to be a first-class citizen? While of course I believe we are all first-class citizens, I also believe the grown-ups should run the world. Otherwise what is there to look forward to, if your peak of control and happiness comes when you’re a fickle tween? (That said, in my mind there is no fixed age when one becomes an adult. Some get there at 16, some 36, some clearly don’t get there at all.)

I hadn't even turned 23 when I was offered a full-time teaching position, and I have had no qualms about being tied down Monday to Friday since such a young age. Daily routine, rewarding work and a paycheque with benefits...it doesn't get better to me.

Getting married, building a house, these were commitments I was excited about. Even the logistics of having children didn't drag me down as it does some moms. While the early sleep-deprivation was a killer, and we are lucky enough to have active grandparents and incredible babysitters, I've also often been glad to have an excuse to turn down social events or leave early “because of the kids”.

In terms of fulfillment, I am still so close with my mom, dad, brother and his family...but now I have a wonderful husband (and all the in-laws he brought with him) and amazing children of my own.

I think there's something to be said for the perspective of appreciating your life where it is right now. I really hope that when the time comes, I will find joy in the empty nest phase (with my lovely daughters off fulfilling their dreams…and God willing, someday giving me grandchildren) and even retirement from teaching (though I am nowhere close to being able to envision that yet - I didn't just purge and paint those kindergarten rooms for nothing!)

Maybe there will come a day, after the loss of a loved one perhaps, when I will feel like my peak is behind me. For now, life just keeps getting better and better.

My glory days are right here, right now, and I would argue that there's a real benefit to believing that yours are too. Not only that, the next phase will be just as glorious as this one…different, but glorious.

P.S. A final takeaway: your kids are always listening to you, and something you say may have a monumental impact that they refer to on the Internet 30 years later.

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Kate's Favourite Things - July 2016

It's summertime, and I know I will be sitting poolside with a book (or magazine) as much as possible! (Hey, I'm not lazy - I'm actually writing this post while on the treadmill!)

Here are my latest book recommendations:

Be Frank With Me by Julia Claiborne Johnson

The publisher describes this one better than I can:

A sparkling talent makes her fiction debut with this infectious novel that combines the charming pluck ofEloise, the poignant psychological quirks of The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time and the page-turning spirit of Where’d You Go, Bernadette.

Reclusive literary legend M. M. “Mimi” Banning has been holed up in her Bel Air mansion for years. But after falling prey to a Bernie Madoff-style ponzi scheme, she’s flat broke. Now Mimi must write a new book for the first time in decades, and to ensure the timely delivery of her manuscript, her New York publisher sends an assistant to monitor her progress. The prickly Mimi reluctantly complies—with a few stipulations: No Ivy-Leaguers or English majors. Must drive, cook, tidy. Computer whiz. Good with kids. Quiet, discreet, sane.

When Alice Whitley arrives at the Banning mansion, she’s put to work right away—as a full-time companion to Frank, the writer’s eccentric nine-year-old, a boy with the wit of Noel Coward, the wardrobe of a 1930s movie star, and very little in common with his fellow fourth-graders.

As she slowly gets to know Frank, Alice becomes consumed with finding out who Frank’s father is, how his gorgeous “piano teacher and itinerant male role model” Xander fits into the Banning family equation—and whether Mimi will ever finish that book.

Full of heart and countless “only-in-Hollywood” moments, Be Frank with Me is a captivating and unconventional story of an unusual mother and son, and the intrepid young woman who finds herself irresistibly pulled into their unforgettable world.

The Nest by Cynthia D'Aprix Sweeney

This one was on a lot of must-read lists, and it didn't absolutely blow me away (it can be hard for books to live up to hype), but was still a worthy read.

Don't You Cry by Mary Kubica

I've recommended her books in the past, and her latest did not disappoint.

The Other Widow by Susan Crawford

She also wrote The Pocket Wife and is an expert at keeping readers guessing in her psychological thrillers.

MOVIES

And if you're interested in a movie, based on a book:

Me Before You

When I first saw the trailer for this film, it began with "based on the best-selling book", and I thought to myself, "I should read this"! A little farther in to the preview I realized I had read the book...and it was excellent! While I don't always say this, the movie really lived up to the book for me, and I found it very powerful. That said, I just want to be clear that enjoying a book/movie with a particular theme is not the same as endorsing it in real life. If you don't know what I mean, don't worry about it!

Plus a random item which I am adoring:

My teacher toolbox! I was coveting these custom-labelled boxes on Pinterest, and learned that the base storage containers were sold at Lowe's. Since we don't have one locally, I figured I would have to wait...but then my parents went on a road trip and dropped in on their way home to surprise me with two toolboxes (the second being for my ECE partner...who is as much a keener about organization as I am - yay!)

They also picked up the spray paint, and I designed my labels using these free templates from Classroom Decor and More on Teachers Pay Teachers. Don't you just love the final product?

That's all for this month! I'd love to know if you've read or seen anything good, so please contact me if you have a recommendation to share!

Win an Outfit from marQ Designs - Plus a Discount Code!

If you haven't yet heard of the hot new children's line called marQ, let's get you up to speed!

Founded by Melissa Grelo (co-host of CTV's The Social as well as the upcoming CTV's Your Morning) and her savvy business partner Shayna Haddon (owner of Haddon Strategy), marQ is a line of stereotype-free clothing for children.

Named for Mel's two-year-old daughter Marquesa (who has also been a cheerful model for the new line; see photo below), marQ is both gender-neutral (meaning it works on both boys and girls, perfect for handing down within families) and fashion-forward (plus all the fabrics are made of 100% organic cotton, bamboo and recycled polyester).

A few weeks ago I caught up with the two entrepreneurs, and they spoke candidly about where the idea for marQ came from, the importance of "Made in Canada", deciding on a price point, and the pros on cons of going into business with a friend.

As a special treat for This Mom Loves readers, marQ is offering a 15% off code for their website, which will be in effect for a limited time, so don't wait too long to use it! (If you get nothing from reading my blog but an aversion to procrastination, I will feel I have served the world well.)

Plus, while my lips are sealed about the details, there's another big prize announcement coming from marQ soon, and you're going to want to be ready to be part of the action!

Here it is, the not-so-secret code for 15% off (drumroll, please):

THISMOMLOVES 

Now, as they say in the best infomercials, that's not all!

Melissa and Shayna are also generously offering a complete marQ outfit (top and bottoms) in available sizes (their line ranges from 0-3 months to 4T) for one lucky Canadian This Mom Loves reader!

All you have to do to enter is visit marQ and come back and fill out the form below, letting me know which item would be at the top of your list! Maybe the Noble tee, perfect for warm summer days, or the Sovereign pullover for those cool evenings? No matter what you choose, your mini-royal will be comfier than ever...and of course, oh-so-stylish!

You can earn extra entries for following marQ on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook, as well as following This Mom Loves on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook (max seven entries).

The giveaway ends on Tuesday, June 28th at 11:59 p.m. Eastern, after which time a winner will be chosen through random number generation. Now it's time to make your marQ! Good luck!

This Mom Loves: TV Segments on YouTube

So, if you've ever missed an episode of Teacher, Teacher on CHEX Daily, now's your chance to catch up!

CHEX Daily no longer puts their videos on YouTube, so fortunately I had already downloaded the episodes I appeared in, and I have cut the clips and uploaded them to my own channel.

The list includes:

*Inspire Budding Writers
*Using Children's Books to Teach Social Justice/World Issues
*Non-academic Ways to Get Ready For Back-To-School
*Tips For Home/School Communication
*Make Math Fun
*How To Handle School Concerns
*The Importance of Attendance
*Help Your Kids Get Organized

....and a whole lot more!

It's also interesting to look at the thumbnails all in a row to see how my hair has grown since the start (which was just weeks after "Hair Donation Day"), how very little I change my hairstyle (hey, there was one ponytail!), and which outfits I may have repeated a couple of times. I will acknowledge that perhaps this may be slightly more interesting to me than it is to you, but still.

I have always hoped that these segments are helpful to parents in some way, so please feel free to watch anything that interests you, and don't hesitate to ask if you have any questions!

Home to Win Designers Offer Tips For Kids' Spaces (Including Kindergarten!)

HGTV's fun new series Home to Win features 20 of the network's stars (you may have heard of Sarah Richardson, Bryan Baeumler, Scott McGillivray and Mike Holmes, for example) who have come together to renovate one home from top to bottom...oh, and did I mention you can audition to win the house?!

Since my pending job change has kindergarten on my brain, I was excited to get the chance to ask a couple of Home To Win's designers for their tips for ideal children's spaces...whether it's a dream kindergarten classroom or a room in a home! Jo Alcorn and Tiffany Pratt were up for the challenge, and here's what they had to suggest!

From Jo Alcorn (she designed the Children's Zone on Home to Win)

• Durability is key! Use materials that are washable or easy to wipe down, like polyester fabrics, gloss paint and furniture surfaces. Outdoor rugs and pillows are great as they bring a comfy touch to the space and are easy to clean.

•  Clever storage: An alphabetized cubby system also serves as a learning tool. Clear storage helps you see what’s in the bins. Or use a colour-coding system if you have a LOT of Legos or craft items.

• Use multi-functional pieces! Brightly-painted nesting tables save space and provide a pop of colour in any space, magazine racks can be used for storing books as well as craft paper, storage ottomans are always a great addition as they add extra moveable seating as well as a hiding place for the clutter.  Display art easily and quickly with clipboards. It is decorative and user friendly for a wide range of ages.

• Creating zones is important to any space but when it comes to kids it helps them understand how to behave. If a space is too open, you may find children running wildly. Set up shelves and other furniture to divide the room into separate learning and play areas. This will cut down on running and help children find activities more easily.

Oh, I so want this zone for my classroom. HGTV, can you help me out? Please?!

From Tiffany Pratt (she designed the Kids' Bedroom on Home to Win)

• ACCESSIBLE:  Keep all workspaces low and easy to use. Coloured Plexi with bulldog clips is a great, easy to clean alternative to mini easels and also adds a fun pop of colour.

•  VISIBLE: Peg board is brilliant for many reasons. Use it as storage with mini buckets, display art on clips and possibly the best part, make everything visible and easy to use.

•  TOO MUCH STORAGE: A place for everything and everything in its place! Storage is the key to a tidy space and makes the clean up much more efficient. Long drawers are perfect for storing art and low sliding bins make materials accessible to everybody. A quick brush of blackboard paint on the front makes a great base label for personalized drawers.

•  SHOW OFF: Keep it fun by showing off the masterpieces created in the space. String lines are easy to put up and washi tape is even simpler!

Thanks to Jo and Tiffany for your fun tips! If only I could have you with me as I create my new classroom!

Be sure to visit Home to Win for more information, and to enter their weekly contest - you could win products or a cash prize to use towards your dream home! Watch the remaining episodes of Home to Win Sundays at 10 p.m. Eastern on HGTV!

Masters of Flip Season 2: Kortney Wilson Gives Us the Scoop!

This Mom Loves has moved! 

For updated content (plus all the posts found here) on our fresh new site, visit www.thismomloves.ca

A while back, I had a chance to chat with Kortney Wilson, of W Network's #1 Reality Series Masters of Flip. In the first part of our conversation, we discussed parenting, adoption, homeschooling, Nashville attractions, and the pros and cons of being in business with your spouse.

We also chatted about the upcoming second season of her Canadian Screen Award-nominated series, and I saved that part of the convo to share with you now, as the Season 2 is about to air on June 7th at 10 p.m.

You were inspired to start flipping homes after renovating your own home. Can you talk a bit about that?

We found a house that we really wanted to move into, and we had just purchased another home on that street about six months prior to this, so we thought let's just buy it, and take a leap of faith and put our other one on the market, and we did all that...except the other one didn't sell right away, and it was around the time that the market declined, so we had two mortgages. Over the Christmas holidays we had some interest in the house, and after we came back from visiting our families in Canada the house was flooded. The pipes froze - in Nashville - which rarely happens. So we decided we were going to take the insurance money and renovate ourselves and after we did that project, and added on to the house, we thought, we can actually manage this, so maybe we should take on a flip, take another leap of faith. We took on one that was more cosmetic: counter tops, paint, ripping up the carpet, and I think at the time Dave may have been working as a waiter in downtown Nashville, in between a publishing deal and a record deal, and within a few weeks we had made something like $25,000 and we thought, this is way better than waiting tables!

What do you think are the most common misconceptions about house flipping?

That it's easy. Because it's not. That you can make quick money. I mean, you can make quick money but there are so many things that go into it. I would say that it's highly, highly stressful. If you were going to flip one house a year and you had all year to do it and didn't have investors to answer to, it would be a breeze. You'd just work on it. But time is money when you're working on a house and you don't know how the market could change so you have to get in and out and abide by the timelines that you set at the beginning, so it can be very stressful, which some people don't realize. They think it's just a creative process, which it is too.

The other thing is, as a realtor I often have people say to me, "Oh my gosh, my wife is really creative and she'd love to do this stuff," or - this is the best one - "My husband is so handy!" Anytime someone says "My husband would love to flip a house because he's so handy," I think, oh my gosh, that's a red flag, because doing the work yourself can be very stressful. In fact, I have friends who flip houses who used to do the work themselves and they finally realized they can do ten times the number of houses with a lot less stress by turning it over to the trades.

I read that unlike many other renovation shows, you and Dave don't make deals with tradespeople or companies for discounts in exchange for promotion on the show. Can you talk about that a bit?

We don't work a barter system with any of our trades. I am the first to say I am really perplexed when I'm watching other renovation shows and I see them gutting houses to the studs with a budget of $70,000. I don't know how they do that. In Nashville, that's certainly not possible. Why do we pay people? Because we would want to get paid. It's great to have a TV show and it would be great to use that but at the end of the day if I'm a tile guy I still have to feed my family. I hope their business grows from it, and if they're really good at it and we can endorse them it will, but at the end of the day they still have to feed their families. And we make good profit on the houses, and we believe everybody should not necessarily share in the profit, but get something from the experience and make money.

I have a few questions from This Mom Loves readers for you now. The first one is: You use so much colour in your flips. Is there as much colour in your own home?

That's actually a good question! I do love colour! I used to have a ton of colour on my walls. My previous house to the one that I'm now, which I've been in three years, had a lot of primary, it was actually really fun. Everyone who walked in said, "Oh my gosh, it's so energizing in here!" But recently I have neutralized a lot of my own walls and brought the colour in through accents and furniture. But I do go through phases! I am literally looking at paint samples on my kitchen counter right now that are teal and aqua blue and I'm considering painting a mantel in my house that colour, so that's how I'm bringing it in and that way it's easier for me to change rather than the entire room.

How many flips do you usually have going on at once?

Right now we're working on eight. We try to keep it under five or six but right now we have some overlapping because of the weather. People don't think we get bad weather in Nashville but we had really bad weather this year. When we get bad weather in Nashville, it literally shuts down the city. My kids have had 13 snow days this year...and we've only had snow on the ground for maybe two or three of them! If we're expecting snow, they shut the schools down, which means they shut the whole city down, which means our crews don't show...as a Northerner, it's really funny! So that has slowed us down a bit this year!

Last question - is there something people would be surprised to learn about the making of Masters of Flip - an insider secret?

Sometimes when we're walking through the houses that we're going to see and choose from, sometimes we have to get them from different angles, so that's probably an insider tip when you're watching shows. You'll see us from the front, with no cameras behind us, and then you'll see us the other way. So sometimes we have to see it for the first time twice! We always do the front first for the reactions but sometimes you have to see it from the other side as well.

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Thanks so much, Kortney!

You don't want to miss the brand new season of Masters of Flip, premiering June 7th at 10 p.m. on W Network.

Why "Outsmarting Your Kids Online" Should Be Required Reading For All Parents

*Note: Giveaway has ended*

Yesterday I purchased Outsmarting Your Kids Online: A Safety Handbook For Overwhelmed Parents by Amber Mac and Michael Bazzell.

I couldn't put it down, and I finished it before I went to bed.

Here's why I think this book should be required reading for all parents:

• It is SO thorough. There are chapters devoted to all of the most popular platforms: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc., as well as online video and mobile apps.
• It provides info you won't get anywhere else. I consider myself moderately tech-savvy, but even I was blown away by all the great back-door methods for finding someone's profile on a social media site (because yes, lots of our children will create profiles they don't want us to see).
• It provides the right balance of parental fear (the horror stories of Rehtaeh Parsons and Amanda Todd) and encouragement (including all of the amazing benefits of screens for kids - with some great fun and educational app recommendations)
• It applies from preschool through the teen years (and while preschoolers likely aren't hiding Instagram accounts from us, parents of preschoolers are at the perfect phase to get ahead, and stay ahead of the Internet game)
• It embraces practical and flexible - not radical or judgmental - parenting philosophies and advice: how much to trust your kids, how much to spy, how much screen time kids should have, etc. I especially love how they reference author Lisa Guernsey and her three Cs: Content (what's on the screen - educational games shouldn't be looked at the same as violent videos), Context (has your child been outside all day? are you on a road trip?) and Child (each one is different in terms of their reactions to and reasons for using screens - is she addicted? does a video help him relax?). 
• It also provides a wealth of information that can also be helpful to teachers and administrators 

A final reason I really love it:

• It includes lots of Canadian content. While Internet information really applies anywhere (it is called the www for a reason) and this handbook is just as helpful for American parents, the patriotic side of me always likes to see Canadian references included in my reading. (Come on, when watching a big TV show or movie you've had a "They just said 'Canada'!" moment too!)

Photo: ambermac.com 

I'm a longtime fan of Amber MacArthur, and know her best from all of her fantastic tech segments on The Marilyn Denis Show (okay, fine, when she followed me back on Twitter and Instagram I loved her even more), and her insights combined with Michael Bazzell's experience as a computer crime detective really provide comprehensive coverage of this huge topic. 

You can purchase Outsmarting Your Kids Online: A Safety Handbook For Overwhelmed Parents here.

The book has already sparked a great conversation with my ten year old, which ended like this:

Her:  Actually, I don't think I really want an Instagram account yet anyway.

Me:  Really?

Her:  Nah. I'm not that interested anymore. But I do want guinea pigs...

It's always something. (I think I'd prefer Instagram.)

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To enter to win your own copy of Outsmarting Your Kids Online: A Safety Handbook For Overwhelmed Parents, you can do one or more of the following:

Retweet this tweet

Like and/or comment on this Facebook post

Like and/or comment on this Instagram post

Total number of possible entries is five, and the contest ends Sunday, May 29th at midnight, after which time I will choose a winner using random.org.

Good luck!

What Parents Need To Know About EQAO

It's almost time for Grade 3 and 6 EQAO - Ontario's standardized testing! (Yes, I just used an exclamation mark.)

This will be my eighth year in a row administering the Grade 3 assessment, and last night I was back on CHEX Daily with Teresa Kaszuba to give parents all the information they need to know about EQAO, including:

• What is tested
• How parents and kids can learn more and see past test questions, with sample responses and scoring guides
• The best way for students to prepare for the tests
• What my biggest pet peeve is at EQAO time (it's a parents-on-Twitter thing!)

I'm at the 23:14 mark, and if you can't see the embedded video you can find it here. {Video no longer available}


Some points from my notes that we didn't have time for in the segment (yes, I'm always overprepared, even though I've been doing this TV thing for almost two years now!):

• Tests are written and marked by Ontario teachers
• Students with special needs can receive many of the same accommodations for EQAO as they do for regular classroom assessments (e.g,, scribing, use of a computer for word processing, and use of text-to-speech software which reads to them)
• Elementary EQAO scores do not "count" towards students' report card marks. Scores are usually released in September, and parents receive individual student reports which indicate the students' level of achievement in the three areas: reading, writing and math. Scores for the province, boards, and individual schools go public each fall as well. (But please take scores at face value: they are snapshots of learning taken over a short period of time, and there may be a variety of circumstances in place which impacted the results - for better or worse. I don't recommend buying your next home based solely on a school's EQAO scores.)

While I do mention this in the segment, it bears repeating here: EQAO should *not* be causing stress for students. They should see it as a challenge, where both teachers and parents expect them to do their best, but without any undue pressure. Many students get butterflies before tests (as they would before dance recitals or hockey games) and that's totally natural, but if your child seems unusually anxious about the upcoming testing, I strongly encourage you to speak with the teacher.

At our school, we try to add some fun to testing days: the kids are encouraged to wear PJs or other comfy clothing, and they get to enjoy gum and hard candy as they work away. Many are actually looking forward to it! (No, really. I swear.)

Please feel free to ask if you have any other EQAO questions, and be sure to check out eqao.com as well.