Bushra Mdewaye: The Syrian Refugee Momterview

Syrian refugees: you can't get a media (or social media) fix without hearing about them, but to most of us, the term is general and vague, not accurately representing the masses of individuals that it encompasses.

Today's Momterview may not be with a celebrity, but Bushra Mdewaye's voice is just as important, and I am thrilled to give you the chance to get to know her. 

What was your life like in Syria before the war?

I had work, as a teacher. My husband Salim and I were married in 2009, and he was a production manager of a big company. We had our son Bassal in August of 2010. We had our own home and we were really happy. We lived close to my husband’s parents, we would visit with family there often. 

How did things change when the war started?

The jobs disappeared. My school, where I taught was bombed, so I stayed home. The factory where my husband worked was taken over by terrorists. So, he also stayed home with me. We had a two-year-old child at home, but no money or jobs. No money to buy milk or food for our child. Once we spent our money, then there was nothing and nothing to do. There were no jobs and no life there.

Did you feel you were in danger?

Yes. There were always bombs. So we decided to leave Aleppo and go to Jordan. My sister is married to a Jordanian person, so we decided to go there.

How did you end up in Canada? What were the steps?

In Jordan, it was a difficult life. Everything there is very expensive, and it was illegal for us to work. However, my husband worked as a salesman, under the table for a very low salary. The money he made was not enough to cover rent or the cost of living. While in Jordan, Celina was born in 2015.

We heard that Canada welcomed Syrians. We went to a church, where we were told that Canadian people wanted to meet some Syrian families. We went for a short interview. And they told us there was only a small chance for us to go to Canada and it would be four years in the future. We were very sad and didn’t know what we would do for four years.

I really don’t know what happened then, but I think it was God’s work. After only four months, we received a call, telling us to go to the embassy for another interview, before travelling to Canada in only a few weeks. We were given four days' notice before our flight to Canada. We were extremely happy!

{Bushra's family was sponsored by St. Joseph's Catholic Church in Douro, Ontario. The family's first Canadian home was within the rectory, the priest's house. While many assume Syrians are all of the Muslim faith, Bushra's family is Catholic. They have since moved to an apartment in Peterborough, as being in the city is more convenient for work, school and errands, and the committee in Douro that originally made arrangements for them still provides a support system.}

What was it like when you first arrived here in Canada?   

Everything was different, different people, culture, food, houses...even floors. We were very happy to come to Canada, but I had a bit of {translates from Arabic to English on her smartphone app} depression for about two months after arriving, it was such a big change. The travel from Jordan to Canada happened very quickly for me. We were so happy to come here, but when we arrived I was a bit depressed. It was very hard.

How old were your kids when you arrived?

Bassal was five and Celina was 11 months when we arrived in Canada. Our son was also a bit sad, it was a hard transition for him as well. He wanted to go back to his friends in Jordan. 

What were the hardest things about being in a new country?

The culture and trying to raise children in a different way. However, I like the way Canadians raise children, better than back home. In Syria, boys are given everything. They are boys, and they will become men! Girls are always the second best. The best is a boy. If the family had a boy they would be very happy, but if they had a girl the father would be sad, as he wants a boy to pass on the name of the family. The language is also difficult. I still cannot speak well. 

{For someone who has been speaking the language for only one year, I would have to say Bushra's English is excellent. Six-year-old Bassal's skills, however are even stronger than his parents'.}

How are things going now that you have been here a year?

I love it! Now I really love Canada! I don't think I could ever go back and live in Syria. Here there are lots of honest people, they don’t lie. Your religion and colour don’t matter. All people are equal. There is no cheating here. 

My husband is working at No Frills, stocking shelves and I am usually home with the kids. Both of us are taking ESL classes. I am hoping to study hairstyling, nails and makeup at Fleming College. I would like to get a job in that field.

Celina is in daycare. My son is attending school {the local Catholic elementary school} and is in Grade 1. He likes school. But he likes to play alone, or he says that. Once when I passed the schoolyard I saw him playing alone. I spoke with the teacher but she says he is doing fine and playing with other children. He did have a best friend for a few weeks, but then he told me they aren’t friends anymore. His friend was boring. {As a teacher and a mom, I assured her this was normal.}

When Canadians hear about Syrian refugees, what do you want them to think?

They need to know more about Syria. Once we went to a church supper, where there were many Canadians and Syrians. A family sponsored a Syrian family, who is still in Lebanon, but they will come, and the man said, “Oh a table! That must be new for you, since you don’t have tables in Syria, right? You eat on the floor.” This is not true! So, some Canadians need a better understanding of where we came from and Syrian culture.

Because my blog is called "This Mom Loves", I'd like to ask you how you would finish the sentence "This mom loves..."? What about fashion and beauty products? I've been told you like shopping, and wearing high heels!

Yes, and I love L'Oréal makeup and beauty products, which we also had in Syria. 

What else do you love?

I like reading and going for walks. Salim likes to watch the soccer games on the weekend so we stay in and I like to cook traditional Syrian meals. I like turkey here, it is done differently in Canada. We had turkey in Syria, but it is made differently here. I love the turkey with stuffing and mashed potatoes and the sauce. And cheesecake!

****

Thank you so much for sharing your story, Bushra.

{Note that responses were edited for length, clarity and flow.

Also please note that while a Twitter user gently suggested that I should be using the phrase "human from Syria" instead of "refugee from Syria", most of my interviews are conducted not solely because the interviewee is human, but because she or he has something newsworthy to share, as a TV personality, house-flipper, author, athlete, or in this case, someone who has fled a war-torn country and joined us here in ours. I do not for a moment dispute the humanity of Bushra as an individual, or that of any of her fellow natives of Syria, but acknowledging that every time I refer to her would make for a pretty lengthy headline or tweet.}

What to Expect During William and Kate's Canadian Visit

I've taken a recent interest in the Duchess of Cambridge (as my Instagram followers certainly know) and in fact have joined the many women who have fun "RepliKating" her clothing and accessories. I was very interested to hear that the Duke and Duchess would soon be visiting Canada, and curious about a lot of the protocols and details surrounding William and Kate's Canadian Tour. 

For information, I turned to Amanda Effie, editor at What Would Kate Do? (one of my new favourite sites!) who also happens to be a resident of British Columbia, where the royal couple (perhaps entire family) will soon visit.

Amanda graciously answered all of my burning questions about the impending royal tour.

Would Prime Minister Trudeau's invitation have been sent and accepted privately before we heard about it, or were we really getting those details in real time? 

It would have been discussed privately well ahead of time between the offices of the Cambridges at Kensington Palace and the UK in Canada program, unfortunately not by Justin Trudeau calling up the Cambridges and asking them to come over for a visit (although isn’t that more fun to think about?)

When Canadians show up at royal appearances as spectators, is there any special protocol to keep in mind? What about anyone who has the honour of meeting the Duke or Duchess (how to address them, etc.)? 

As Canada is a commonwealth nation, curtsying would be proper protocol if meeting them in a formal capacity. We wrote an article a few years ago about the etiquette of meeting the Queen - and since William and Kate will be here representing Her Majesty, those rules would be very helpful. Since very few Canadians will likely have that honour, it is more likely that they will see Will and Kate as spectators during walkabouts or when they are en route somewhere. Given that distinction, there are several other “rules” which are also extremely helpful when meeting a Royal such as never touching them and always being respectful of both their roles as Ambassadors for the UK as well as the fact that they are human beings. We’ll also throw in a modern situation we see so often with people meeting the Duke and Duchess on walkabouts -  put your phone away! 

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What fashion items do you predict we will see from Kate? 

Kate and her stylist team do significant research before all tours and often pay homage to the host country through fashion choices. The last time Kate was in Canada in 2011, for example, she wore a now iconic Erdem (Canadian designer) lace dress for one event and paired a gorgeous Maple Leaf brooch with several of her ensembles. For this Tour, we absolutely expect to continue to see her wearing Canadian brands or brands with Canadian designers at the helm such as Pink Tartan or Smythe. Also since Canada’s new “First Lady” is such a proponent and fan of Canadian fashion, it’s possible that Kate will step up her Made-In-Canada game for events when she is seen with Sophie Trudeau. Perhaps we will also see her break out the Lululemon we saw her buying in London a few months ago for casual events and I’d put good money on the Smythe blazer (that one of our team members desperately wants to borrow from Kate’s closet) making an appearance!

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I know some critics have questioned the fact that royals often wear traditional clothing items from the cultures of the countries they visit - saying that it's "cultural appropriation". What do you think of this? Do you believe it's insulting or a compliment to the host countries? 

This is a tough question. Like we mentioned before, Kate and her team do extensive research on the country they are visiting and the traditions of the people in that country in order to pay respect to them, definitely not to insult or diminish their cultural values. Think of the cape that Kate wore whilst visiting Bhutan on the last tour - was absolutely a nod to the country’s rich heritage. With Will and Kate spending time on the West Coast on this particular tour, I think it could be very likely to see them spend time with members of Canada’s Aboriginal communities who have such rich and powerful histories and stories, so there could be clothing or items chosen to honour that part of Canadian history. 

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When the royals visit other countries, how much input do you think they have in the itinerary? I know for example that being a "selective" eater would make some such events awkward for me! Do you think personal preferences and comfort levels are taken into account?

In all honesty, it is probably very little - it usually follows in line with their official patronages. To be fair though, the patronages are chosen by the Royals themselves. In Will and Kate's case, this includes wildlife preserves, children’s hospice care, the arts and mental health initiatives. I think we will see engagements entering around those things that the couple are passionate about… But I think there will also be some downtime on the trip given that they are traveling with their children - William was quoted as saying he wanted to take George fishing! 

Photo: Kensington Palace

Knowing they will be visiting British Columbia and Yukon, do you have any predictions for specific destinations? 

My house (just kidding!) It’s hard to guess without seeing their full itinerary, but since we are now hearing that Vancouver will be their first destination, I can imagine that whilst in Vancouver they could visit Stanley Park (perhaps if it can be arranged with security concerns take George and Charlotte to the Aquarium?), spend some time on Granville Island (there is an amazing non-profit community Arts studio there that I could see Kate loving) or perhaps a visit to one of our amazing gardens - perhaps either the Dr. Sun Yat-Sen Classical Chinese Garden or Van Duesen Gardens for an event. The couple will absolutely be making a stop in Whistler and I could also see them making a trip out to the Island.

I imagine William and Kate will have to balance the children's privacy with the public's desire to see the little prince and princess. How much should we expect to see the children during the visit? 

Unfortunately for us, it is likely very little. We saw George only a handful of times on the Australia trip. We will probably only see them upon arrivals and maybe 1-2 events which have been specifically designed with them in mind. 

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There are some in Canada who wish to abolish the monarchy. Do you think this visit could have a strategic angle - getting younger Canadians to feel good about the monarchy again?

This is also a tough question seeing as everyone has such different political views on the matter. I think that no matter your view on Canada remaining or ceasing to be a member of the Commonwealth, you can agree that William, Kate, George and Charlotte’s visit will do a couple of things. One, it will direct the international spotlight on our gorgeous country which I think can never be a bad idea. And second, it will allow the media to focus on charitable patronages in Canada which the Cambridge family will shine a light on with their visit. No one can dispute that Kate has emerged as an international celebrity in her own right. What we’ve noticed in writing the blog for the last almost 5 years is that people are often initially attracted to Kate for her style, but then also learn that she supports mental health initiatives, for example. Then those girls and women take more active roles in their communities supporting charities that align with Kate’s patronages. Those two things can’t be all bad, no matter your position on the Royal Family overall!

*****

Thank you so much to Amanda from What Would Kate Do? for sharing her expertise on the Cambridges with us, and we are counting on full coverage of the royal visit from you! (Fingers crossed you get to see the royal couple!)

Family Fun at Casa Loma, Toronto

"North America's only full-sized castle and Toronto's premier historic attraction" - how could we resist the opportunity to take the girls to Casa Loma?

Photo courtesy Casa Loma

We started our self-guided tour on the lower level (full disclosure: because we were hungry and that's where the cafe is!) and worked our way up. The photos really tell the story...

800 feet of underground tunnels connecting two parts of the property - 

so no one back then had to go outside and cross the street!

Downstairs you can also find a display of posters from movies that were shot on location at 

Casa Loma (one of my favourites: Chicago!)

I asked Eva to pick her favourite old car - she went with the Model T!

I wanted to call out, "Rapunzel! Rapunzel!" but I'm on the borderline of becoming an embarrassing mom (because of their ages, not because of anything I've done, of course) so I restrained myself.

Even the gardens are impressive

Of course Liv's favourite place would be the library! This is only a fraction of the books.

A popular event venue - we got a sneak peek at some wedding photography

The fireplace is always my favourite spot in a home - 

and this one has secret passageways on either side! (The kids love that!)

Casa Loma provides a fascinating look at history, and makes a worthwhile class trip destination as well, with school programs running from Kindergarten right through secondary school.

A visit can also spark some interesting discussions about financial decisions. Sir Henry Pellatt had the castle built beginning in 1911 (it took 300 men almost three years to complete) at a cost of $3.5 million. He and his wife Lady Mary only enjoyed Casa Loma for less than ten years before financial misfortune forced them to move. Some of his visions (e.g., the indoor swimming pool) never even reached fruition. (We've decided to be satisfied with our beautiful home - with one percent of the square footage of Casa Loma!)

If you've never visited Casa Loma, it's definitely something to add to your must-see list!

Note: Because there was a wedding taking place, on-site parking was limited when we arrived, but we found a spot just a few minutes away in the George Brown College lot on MacPherson.

Disclosure: We were provided free admission to Casa Loma for review purposes. Opinions are, as always, my own.

Vancouver Travel Guide and Trip Highlights

We've been east and we've been south, but until now my husband and I had never traveled to western Canada. (Yes, I realize I left out a cardinal direction, but unless I get invited to Santa's actual workshop that one isn't high on my list.)

A few months ago, we decided that to celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary (and combine business and pleasure with a travel story), we would cash in our Aeroplan points and head to beautiful British Columbia - more specifically the city of Vancouver.

Today I offer you the highlights of our four day trip, and top suggestions for what to see and what to do in Vancouver.

First off, I love technology. Online check-in and digital boarding pass? Yes, please!

If you fly to Vancouver, consider taking the Canada Line train (leaving every 7 minutes) from the airport to Vancouver City Centre (or whatever stop you might need). It was $9 each to get us downtown, and we ended up just blocks from our hotel. As we trekked the short distance with our wheeled suitcases, my husband turned and joked, "Do you think anyone can tell we're tourists?"

Once you're in Vancouver (click on subtitles to take you to websites):

CENTURY PLAZA HOTEL AND SPA

Out hotel was perfectly located on Burrard Street. We walked almost everywhere, and had shuttle buses right at the door. They were kind enough to accommodate our early check-in, and our room had a great kitchenette with a coffee maker, toaster, microwave, kettle and fridge - which made it easy to have a couple of grocery store meals (there's a fantastic IGA down the street) and one of reheated restaurant leftovers! The on-site spa is another great perk - more on that later! The only thing that could make the hotel even better would be a hot tub along with the pool.


HOP-ON, HOP-OFF FROM WESTCOAST SIGHTSEEING*

This bus tour gives you a wonderful overview of the city highlights, and the guides are very informative (e.g., did you know the Lululemon owner has a 63 million dollar home - the most expensive in Vancouver?) Your pass is good for 24 hours, and really hits all the city highlights: Chinatown, Gastown, Granville Island, Stanley Park, Robson Street, Canada Place...the list goes on!


ABSOLUTE SPA

My massage was "absolutely" amazing, with incredible service throughout the spa. The change rooms were beautiful, there was a relaxation area for pre- and post-treatment, and even a mini cafeteria for free snacks after the service. Absolute Spa has several locations throughout the city, and you know, if it's good enough for Emily Blunt (who commented, "Best spa day ever!",) Jennifer Lopez, Gwyneth Paltrow, Ashley Judd and Elle MacPherson then I think it's good enough for me.
P.S. While I can't speak for other extended health coverage, my plan covers treatments (e.g., massage from a Registered Massage Therapist) provided in other provinces.


STANLEY PARK HORSE-DRAWN TOURS*

When you take any sort of tour, the guide makes a big difference, and the young man who toured us around Stanley Park was terrific - knowledgeable and funny. Interesting Hollywood North note: the horses for the hit show Once Upon a Time are the Stanley Park horses - and we got a little glimpse of Prince Charming's carriage too. (If you're an entertainment junkie like me and want to try to see a movie or show being shot while you're in the city, check out http://www.whatsfilming.ca/.)

VANCOUVER AQUARIUM*

If you go to Vancouver with kids, or you have a particular interest in aquatic wildlife, you can't miss a visit to the Vancouver Aquarium (located in Stanley Park). I texted the photo below to my girls (who were back in Ontario with their grandparents) and said "We found Nemo!" My eight-year-old was quick to send back a cropped copy of the shot with the caption, "I found Dory!"

I also texted my Pittsburgh-fan brother a photo of the penguins...in the park that's named after Lord Stanley...just like the coveted cup. Deep, I know.

CAPILANO SUSPENSION BRIDGE*

With a free shuttle right at our hotel door, how could we miss out on this huge tourist attraction? We were advised to go early or late to avoid crowds, so we were on the bus at the earliest pick-up time of 9 a.m. The morning was actually a bit misty and drizzly, which also helped with the crowds - we didn't have to wait in any lines at all. Not for the faint-of-heights, the park offers breathtaking experiences like the Cliff Walk, and of course the famous Suspension Bridge (both shown below). My husband says this would be one of his biggest highlights of the trip.

Cliff Walk

Suspension Bridge

HISTORICAL CHINATOWN TOURS*

Not a regular tourist's view of Chinatown, Chinatown Girl Judy Lam Maxwell takes visitors behind closed doors, up staircases and into alleys to get an insider's experience of Chinatown. She offers a thorough historical view and tons of informative tidbits plus customized tours. Ours ended with an interesting behind-the-scenes visit to 94-year-old Bill Wong at Modernize Tailors. Don't just wander Chinatown yourself when you can have Judy as your guide.

VANCOUVER HARBOUR CRUISE*

I love getting out on the water, especially for a view of a new city (which may surprise people, since I'm not exactly the most outdoorsy girl). This tour was both fun and educational, and next time I would consider splurging for one of their dining cruises (the Sunset Dinner one looks great), in order to be out on the water longer and enhance the experience even more.

VANCOUVER ART GALLERY*

While I certainly can't pretend to be a big art connoisseur, I may never again get a chance to see so much of Picasso's work all in one place, so we made time for a trip to the Art Gallery. I learned a lot about Picasso and enjoyed a quick walk through the other exhibits as well.

GASTOWN

This is definitely a "hop off the bus and wander" kind of destination. Cobblestone streets, unique shopping (as well as typical souvenir fare) and so many patios that you'll have a hard time deciding where to stop to eat or drink. Why choose one place? Lunch at one, drinks at another, dinner at a third!


ADELE LIVE 2016

Not that this is helpful to future Vancouver visitors, but one of our trip highlights for sure was seeing Adele live in concert. (I got last-minute tickets through StubHub). The woman is entertaining, funny, beautiful and what a voice!

And now, for the food!

THE WINKING JUDGE PUB

Just a block from our hotel, we had super friendly service (I'm happy to be called "hon" by waitstaff), large portions (I saved half my meal for later) plus it's always nice to get a bit of an Irish feel in every city we visit.

CACTUS CLUB CAFE AT COAL HARBOUR

Recommended by more than one of my Facebook followers, this restaurant - located at Canada Place - has incredible views...and even the bathrooms were some of the most beautiful I've ever seen. I recommend Rob's Crispy Chicken Sandwich - it has a nice little kick to it!

JOE'S GRILL (on Denman St., near our hotel) and DEACON'S CORNER (Gastown area) for those who like a delicious, filling, inexpensive diner breakfast.

CARTEMS DONUTERIE

The Triple Chocolate Threat is hands-down the best donut I've ever eaten.

BLUE WATER CAFE

This is where we had the meal of our lives. I had asked Vancouverite  Lainey Lui (who I know from my work with The Social) to recommend a favourite restaurant and this was her suggestion. I let them know it was our 15th anniversary celebration and from the moment we walked in we were treated with care. Price-wise this is definitely a special occasion restaurant (and while I saw some kids there, I wouldn't take my girls until they're older) but wow. Every course (including our after-dinner sorbet shown below) was delicious ("Have I mentioned how amazing this is?" my husband kept asking me) with a great atmosphere and convenient Yaletown location. This is the place for real seafood, though in a "you-can-take-the-girl-out-of-the-country-but..." kind of move, I ordered the beef tenderloin, which was incredible. Dessert? Of course! I indulged in the Warm Dark Chocolate Cake (come on, doesn't just reading the name make your mouth water?) and I was not disappointed.

A final note: as I mentioned earlier, I'm not a huge outdoorswoman, though I enjoyed spending four days of beautiful weather walking all over the city. Keep in mind though that there's so much more to see and do for nature lovers - including well-marked bike paths on city streets and trails. Be sure to visit Tourism Vancouver for a comprehensive guide to everything the city has to offer.

As always, don't hesitate to ask if you have any questions (leave a comment, email me or message through social media) and please feel free to leave your own Vancouver recos that we may not have had time for!

Disclosure: I was provided with a media Experience Pass through Tourism Vancouver, and received free admission to several attractions. Opinions are, as always, my own.

Sainte-Marie Among the Hurons and Martyrs' Shrine - Family Time in Midland

We had a fantastic family road trip to Midland, Ontario yesterday, visiting two important and meaningful tourist attractions: The Martyrs' Shrine and Sainte-Marie Among the Hurons. Today I'm sharing the highlights with you!

MARTYRS' SHRINE

The history in a nutshell: this beautiful church (surrounded by grounds that are just as lovely) was built to honour eight men martyred during the Jesuit missions to New France in the 17th century, with architecture that blends both European and First Nations' cultures.

Our first ever before-Mass-family-selfie

We especially loved the Irish Peace Garden

I had to send the photo below to Gretchen Rubin (author of my beloved The Happiness Project) as she often refers to St. Therese of the Little Flower in her work. And yes, she replied to my tweet!

The ceiling of the church - designed to look like the inside of a canoe. 

From the gift shop: a book for my classroom prayer table, and Olivia picked up a rosary made of olive wood from Jerusalem and Bethlehem. (Olivia/olive...you caught that, right? Plus my mother-in-law gave me an Our Lady of Olives medal to wear on my hospital gown when I was giving birth to Liv. Neat connections.)

After that, we drove across the highway (it's really that close) to...

SAINTE-MARIE AMONG THE HURONS

We all learned a ton at Sainte-Marie (a recreation of Ontario's first European community), partly because of the amazing young interpreters who were giving thorough explanations throughout the village in areas such as the shoemaker/tailor's, hospital, cemetery, cookhouse and apothecary shop and garden.

I'd really recommend starting with the video in the main building before entering the village - it's extremely informative (with a balanced viewpoint between the First Nations and European perspectives), plus there's a surprise right at the end that my girls enjoyed - though really little ones might not have the attention span for the content.

Our self-guided tour (with a very helpful site map) was also enhanced by the fact that the village is very hands-on: no signs saying "don't touch" or ropes keeping visitors back from displays, so it seemed very warm and welcoming. (And I'm not just saying warm because we were there on a 36 degree day.)

The girls tried their hands at quill pen writing (one of the summer activities running each day along with craft-making)...and Liv quickly learned that it was a harder task for a lefty!

Trying on some clothing from the time period (obviously just the skirt, not the top - though they match well. Old Navy may want to consider a new line):

Making a craft

Watching the blacksmith work

Listening to an expert in one of the longhouses

During the summer, there are also scheduled activities at different times of the day: we caught the waterway demonstration and music presentation (did you know The Huron Carol - T'was in the Moon of Wintertime - was written by a Jesuit, but originally in the native Wendat language, as a way of explaining the birth of Jesus in a way the people would understand?) and you can also enjoy fire starting, 17th century cooking, First Nations games (I saw some lacrosse sticks propped up ready to go), storytelling and 17th century medicine presentations.

When touring, I was particularly interested in the Church of Saint Joseph, which we were told was designed differently from other churches of the day in an effort to bridge the gap between Wendat and French cultures. For example, there were no "back rooms" where priests could change their vestments, as the Wendat people were used to large, open gathering areas and would be suspicious of any activities that needed to be done in secret. Martyred Saints Jean de Brébeuf and Gabriel Lalement have their graves at the back of this church as well.

Families with a passion for history should really consider a road trip to Midland to take in these great attractions, and teachers may want to think about future field trips as well. Definitely worth it!


Disclosure: We were provided free admission to Sainte-Marie Among the Hurons for review purposes. Opinions are, as always, my own.