Syrian refugees: you can't get a media (or social media) fix without hearing about them, but to most of us, the term is general and vague, not accurately representing the masses of individuals that it encompasses.
Today's Momterview may not be with a celebrity, but Bushra Mdewaye's voice is just as important, and I am thrilled to give you the chance to get to know her.
What
was your life like in Syria before the war?
I had work, as a teacher. My husband Salim and I were married in 2009, and he was a production manager of a big company. We had our son Bassal in August of 2010. We had our own home and we
were really happy. We lived close to my husband’s parents, we
would visit with family there often.
How
did things change when the war started?
The jobs disappeared. My school, where I
taught was bombed, so I stayed home. The factory where my husband worked was
taken over by terrorists. So, he also stayed home with me. We had a two-year-old
child at home, but no money or jobs. No money to buy milk or food for our
child. Once we spent our money, then there was nothing and nothing to do. There
were no jobs and no life there.
Did
you feel you were in danger?
Yes. There were always bombs. So we decided
to leave Aleppo and go to Jordan. My sister is married to a Jordanian person, so we decided to go there.
How
did you end up in Canada? What were the steps?
In Jordan, it was a difficult life.
Everything there is very expensive, and it was illegal for us to work. However,
my husband worked as a salesman, under the table for a very low salary. The
money he made was not enough to cover rent or the cost of living. While in Jordan, Celina was born in 2015.
We heard that Canada welcomed Syrians. We
went to a church, where we were told that Canadian people wanted to meet some
Syrian families. We went for a short interview. And they told us there was only
a small chance for us to go to Canada and it would be four years in the future.
We were very sad and didn’t know what we would do for four years.
I really don’t know what happened then, but I
think it was God’s work. After only four months, we received a call, telling us
to go to the embassy for another interview, before travelling to Canada in only
a few weeks. We were given four days' notice before our flight to Canada. We
were extremely happy!
{Bushra's family was sponsored by St. Joseph's Catholic Church in Douro, Ontario. The family's first Canadian home was within the rectory, the priest's house. While many assume Syrians are all of the Muslim faith, Bushra's family is Catholic. They have since moved to an apartment in Peterborough, as being in the city is more convenient for work, school and errands, and the committee in Douro that originally made arrangements for them still provides a support system.}
What
was it like when you first arrived here in Canada?
Everything was different, different people,
culture, food, houses...even floors. We
were very happy to come to Canada, but I had a bit of {translates from Arabic to English on her smartphone app} depression for about two months after
arriving, it was such a big change. The travel from Jordan to Canada happened
very quickly for me. We were so happy to come here, but when we arrived I was a bit depressed. It was very hard.
How
old were your kids when you arrived?
Bassal was five and Celina was 11 months when we arrived in Canada. Our son was
also a bit sad, it was a hard transition for him as well. He wanted to go back
to his friends in Jordan.
What
were the hardest things about being in a new country?
The culture and trying to raise children in a different way.
However, I like the way Canadians raise children, better than back home. In Syria, boys are given
everything. They are boys, and they will become men! Girls are always the
second best. The best is a boy. If the family had a boy they would be very
happy, but if they had a girl the father would be sad, as he wants a boy to
pass on the name of the family. The language is also difficult. I still
cannot speak well.
{For someone who has been speaking the language for only one year, I would have to say Bushra's English is excellent. Six-year-old Bassal's skills, however are even stronger than his parents'.}
How
are things going now that you have been here a year?
I love it! Now I really love Canada! I don't think I could ever go back and live in Syria. Here there are lots of honest people, they don’t lie. Your religion and colour
don’t matter. All people are equal. There is no cheating here.
My husband is working at No Frills,
stocking shelves and I am usually home with the kids. Both of us are taking ESL
classes. I am hoping to study hairstyling, nails and makeup at Fleming College. I would like to get a job in that field.
Celina is in daycare. My son is attending school {the local Catholic elementary school} and is in Grade 1. He likes school. But he likes to
play alone, or he says that. Once when I passed the schoolyard I saw him playing alone. I spoke with the teacher but she says he is
doing fine and playing with other children. He did have a best friend for a few weeks, but then he told me they aren’t friends anymore. His friend was boring. {As a teacher and a mom, I assured her this was normal.}
When
Canadians hear about Syrian refugees, what do you want them to think?
They need to know more about Syria. Once we
went to a church supper, where there were many Canadians and Syrians. A family
sponsored a Syrian family, who is still in Lebanon, but they will come, and the
man said, “Oh a table! That must be new for you, since you don’t have tables in
Syria, right? You eat on the floor.” This is not true! So, some Canadians need
a better understanding of where we came from and Syrian culture.
Because my blog is called "This Mom Loves", I'd like to ask you how you would finish the sentence "This mom loves..."? What about
Yes, and I love L'Oréal makeup and beauty products, which we also had in Syria.
Yes, and I love L'Oréal makeup and beauty products, which we also had in Syria.
What else do you love?
I like reading and going for walks. Salim likes to watch the soccer games on the weekend so we stay in and I like to cook traditional Syrian meals. I like turkey here, it is done differently in Canada. We had turkey in Syria, but it is made differently here. I love the turkey with stuffing and mashed potatoes and the sauce. And cheesecake!
****
Thank you so much for sharing your story, Bushra.
{Note that responses were edited for length, clarity and flow.
Also please note that while a Twitter user gently suggested that I should be using the phrase "human from Syria" instead of "refugee from Syria", most of my interviews are conducted not solely because the interviewee is human, but because she or he has something newsworthy to share, as a TV personality, house-flipper, author, athlete, or in this case, someone who has fled a war-torn country and joined us here in ours. I do not for a moment dispute the humanity of Bushra as an individual, or that of any of her fellow natives of Syria, but acknowledging that every time I refer to her would make for a pretty lengthy headline or tweet.}
