Gianna Martello: The Dance Moms Interview

If you're one of the millions of viewers who enjoys Lifetime's hit series Dance Moms, you're already familiar with world-renowned choreographer Gianna Martello - she's also an Instagram sensation, with over a million followers!

Dance Moms follows the training and careers of children in dance and show business under the tutelage of Abby Lee Miller. Martello has appeared on the show since Season 1, assisting Miller to choreograph the performances of the show’s stars such as Maddie Ziegler, Mackenzie Ziegler and Kendall Vertes. Season 7 is currently airing on Lifetime.

Martello has been choreographing routines for the Abby Lee Dance Company (ALDC) since she was 16 years old. She has been a part of the faculty at the ALDC for 11 years, and has been a guest instructor and judge around the world on competition circuits. Her award-winning routines have earned her regional and national titles, as well as overall awards and choreography awards.

While my daughters are more focused on the singing and acting aspects of their triple threat status, they do love to dance - though you don't see a lot of Irish stepdancing on Dance Moms!

I was thrilled to have a a chance to toss a few questions at Gianna on behalf of dance moms (and dads everywhere!

Why do you think dance lessons are so valuable for young kids?

I think dance teaches you more than just steps and routines. Dance teaches you how to listen and take direction. It teaches you how to work hard at something that may not come easy to you. Dance helps with your posture, it teaches you balance and coordination of your arms and legs. Every young kid needs all of those things!

What advice would you give parents who have children involved in competitive dance?

It can be really good for some kids and not for others. I was a competitive dancer all my life. I was not always first overall, and sometimes for parents and kids who are really competitive, that’s not good enough. My parents knew I loved it so much that they let me continue through until I graduated but if it gets too serious it may not be healthy for every family. (It's also really expensive!)

Do you have any specific tips for parents of boys who are passionate about dance? Is it more difficult for them to pursue, or do you think both sexes are welcomed in the field now?

I think it’s AWESOME for boys to dance. I think some of the best dancers and choreographers are guys. Sometimes it can be difficult for some boys because it’s not the norm. I can remember dancing with boys that got made fun of in school, but when they were in the dance world they were getting double the amount of praise a girl dancer would get. As much as I hate to admit, I still think that boys are getting bullied for their passion for the arts from the outside, but once you get to the dance world they are SO welcomed!

Do you think there are any misconceptions out there about Dance Moms - in terms of the dance competitions, the reality show aspect, etc.?

I think there are a ton of misconceptions about Dance Moms -- I could go on for days! I don't think people realize how hard the cast works. It is NOTHING like regular competition dance. Normally, a dancer would learn and rehearse a solo or group routine for months; we learn and rehearse in about 2 days of filming. They have to compete against kids that have rehearsed so many hours longer and try to beat them. People also don't get that it is a television show so the drama is more explosive than normal, however I did grow up in a group with some crazy dance moms. Also we film SO many hours that you don't see, so when you all think everything is negative and bad, you don't get to see the good stuff, you just see the 5 minutes that were really bad.

Have you learned anything through this experience that would impact you if you have kids in the future who want to get involved in dance?

I obviously want my kid to be a dancer. I come from a long line of dancers. If it’s not what he or she wants then we will try a different route because it’s obviously not for everyone -- but FINGERS CROSSED!

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Thanks so much for taking the time to share! Take a look at Gianna in action here:

Follow Gianna Martello on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.

Bushra Mdewaye: The Syrian Refugee Momterview

Syrian refugees: you can't get a media (or social media) fix without hearing about them, but to most of us, the term is general and vague, not accurately representing the masses of individuals that it encompasses.

Today's Momterview may not be with a celebrity, but Bushra Mdewaye's voice is just as important, and I am thrilled to give you the chance to get to know her. 

What was your life like in Syria before the war?

I had work, as a teacher. My husband Salim and I were married in 2009, and he was a production manager of a big company. We had our son Bassal in August of 2010. We had our own home and we were really happy. We lived close to my husband’s parents, we would visit with family there often. 

How did things change when the war started?

The jobs disappeared. My school, where I taught was bombed, so I stayed home. The factory where my husband worked was taken over by terrorists. So, he also stayed home with me. We had a two-year-old child at home, but no money or jobs. No money to buy milk or food for our child. Once we spent our money, then there was nothing and nothing to do. There were no jobs and no life there.

Did you feel you were in danger?

Yes. There were always bombs. So we decided to leave Aleppo and go to Jordan. My sister is married to a Jordanian person, so we decided to go there.

How did you end up in Canada? What were the steps?

In Jordan, it was a difficult life. Everything there is very expensive, and it was illegal for us to work. However, my husband worked as a salesman, under the table for a very low salary. The money he made was not enough to cover rent or the cost of living. While in Jordan, Celina was born in 2015.

We heard that Canada welcomed Syrians. We went to a church, where we were told that Canadian people wanted to meet some Syrian families. We went for a short interview. And they told us there was only a small chance for us to go to Canada and it would be four years in the future. We were very sad and didn’t know what we would do for four years.

I really don’t know what happened then, but I think it was God’s work. After only four months, we received a call, telling us to go to the embassy for another interview, before travelling to Canada in only a few weeks. We were given four days' notice before our flight to Canada. We were extremely happy!

{Bushra's family was sponsored by St. Joseph's Catholic Church in Douro, Ontario. The family's first Canadian home was within the rectory, the priest's house. While many assume Syrians are all of the Muslim faith, Bushra's family is Catholic. They have since moved to an apartment in Peterborough, as being in the city is more convenient for work, school and errands, and the committee in Douro that originally made arrangements for them still provides a support system.}

What was it like when you first arrived here in Canada?   

Everything was different, different people, culture, food, houses...even floors. We were very happy to come to Canada, but I had a bit of {translates from Arabic to English on her smartphone app} depression for about two months after arriving, it was such a big change. The travel from Jordan to Canada happened very quickly for me. We were so happy to come here, but when we arrived I was a bit depressed. It was very hard.

How old were your kids when you arrived?

Bassal was five and Celina was 11 months when we arrived in Canada. Our son was also a bit sad, it was a hard transition for him as well. He wanted to go back to his friends in Jordan. 

What were the hardest things about being in a new country?

The culture and trying to raise children in a different way. However, I like the way Canadians raise children, better than back home. In Syria, boys are given everything. They are boys, and they will become men! Girls are always the second best. The best is a boy. If the family had a boy they would be very happy, but if they had a girl the father would be sad, as he wants a boy to pass on the name of the family. The language is also difficult. I still cannot speak well. 

{For someone who has been speaking the language for only one year, I would have to say Bushra's English is excellent. Six-year-old Bassal's skills, however are even stronger than his parents'.}

How are things going now that you have been here a year?

I love it! Now I really love Canada! I don't think I could ever go back and live in Syria. Here there are lots of honest people, they don’t lie. Your religion and colour don’t matter. All people are equal. There is no cheating here. 

My husband is working at No Frills, stocking shelves and I am usually home with the kids. Both of us are taking ESL classes. I am hoping to study hairstyling, nails and makeup at Fleming College. I would like to get a job in that field.

Celina is in daycare. My son is attending school {the local Catholic elementary school} and is in Grade 1. He likes school. But he likes to play alone, or he says that. Once when I passed the schoolyard I saw him playing alone. I spoke with the teacher but she says he is doing fine and playing with other children. He did have a best friend for a few weeks, but then he told me they aren’t friends anymore. His friend was boring. {As a teacher and a mom, I assured her this was normal.}

When Canadians hear about Syrian refugees, what do you want them to think?

They need to know more about Syria. Once we went to a church supper, where there were many Canadians and Syrians. A family sponsored a Syrian family, who is still in Lebanon, but they will come, and the man said, “Oh a table! That must be new for you, since you don’t have tables in Syria, right? You eat on the floor.” This is not true! So, some Canadians need a better understanding of where we came from and Syrian culture.

Because my blog is called "This Mom Loves", I'd like to ask you how you would finish the sentence "This mom loves..."? What about fashion and beauty products? I've been told you like shopping, and wearing high heels!

Yes, and I love L'Oréal makeup and beauty products, which we also had in Syria. 

What else do you love?

I like reading and going for walks. Salim likes to watch the soccer games on the weekend so we stay in and I like to cook traditional Syrian meals. I like turkey here, it is done differently in Canada. We had turkey in Syria, but it is made differently here. I love the turkey with stuffing and mashed potatoes and the sauce. And cheesecake!

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Thank you so much for sharing your story, Bushra.

{Note that responses were edited for length, clarity and flow.

Also please note that while a Twitter user gently suggested that I should be using the phrase "human from Syria" instead of "refugee from Syria", most of my interviews are conducted not solely because the interviewee is human, but because she or he has something newsworthy to share, as a TV personality, house-flipper, author, athlete, or in this case, someone who has fled a war-torn country and joined us here in ours. I do not for a moment dispute the humanity of Bushra as an individual, or that of any of her fellow natives of Syria, but acknowledging that every time I refer to her would make for a pretty lengthy headline or tweet.}

Win a Baeumler Prize Pack - Plus Bryan and Sarah Chat About Bryan, Inc.

On September 25th, HGTV Canada premiered a fun new series with Bryan and Sarah Baeumler called Bryan, Inc., where the powerhouse couple buys and renovates two homes for a profit while balancing their busy home life with four active kids: “Q” (11), Charlotte (10), Lincoln (5) and Jojo (3).

Since I always love to pick the brains of my favourite TV personalities, I was happy to have the chance to fire some questions at both halves of this duo. Here's what they had to say, starting with Bryan himself.

What would you say really sets Bryan Inc. apart from your other series?

Bryan Inc. is really the natural evolution of the House of Bryan series, but we’re not building our own home, this series focuses on two of our ‘spec’ builds through Baeumler Quality Construction. Sarah has been involved in our construction and other businesses for the past 15 years – now we’re just filming more of her role, and giving her a little more responsibility by actually being on site more and directing traffic on a few of the jobs. It’s an inside look into our business, our relationship and our family – with no holds barred!

How did Sarah handle working with you as "the boss"?

Let’s just say this is a bit of a role reversal…at home, Sarah is definitely the leader of the pack. She keeps the kids, the house, and our lives organized and running smoothly. I have no idea how she does it all, but when she’s away for a day and I have our 4 kids and a household to organize, I definitely miss her! On the business side, Sarah’s handled the transition very well – we try to keep our working relationship at the office, but of course there’s times when our two lives collide. We try to keep it lighthearted and have a lot of fun at work.

Moms always get asked about balance, so I'm throwing this question to you instead: can you think of a time when you've had "Dad guilt", or felt like work was keeping you from something important with the family? How do you resolve that?

Of course – I feel guilty all the time, but I try not to beat myself up about it! I learned quite young from my parents that in order to provide for your family, you have to make sacrifices. It’s impossible to be home all the time, and be the perfect parent every day. I’m not sure you can ever spend enough time with your family…but they need a place to live, they need to eat, and I feel a duty to provide them with the best opportunities I can to grow up happy, and be successful in their own lives. Sarah and I get asked how we balance everything all the time – and the honest answer is that we don’t! I don’t think anyone really ever achieves total balance – the scales are always moving, I think you just have to adapt and refocus your attention on the areas that need it, when they need it, and do your best. Life is too unpredictable for balance. Or maybe that is the balance?!

How would you finish the sentence "This Dad loves..."?  

This Dad loves Purdy’s chocolate hedgehogs, scuba diving, Biltong (South African air dried beef from Florence Meats Butcher Shop), Sarah’s baked salmon (YUM!), Jack Daniels and Coke, Islamorada (Florida Keys) and the 30,000 Islands of Georgian Bay.

Now on to Sarah (a woman after my own heart, by the way, who gets her caffeine fix from diet cola instead of coffee):

The press release says that Bryan is the boss on this new show. How did you deal with that? Did any work issues spill over into home life?

Bryan and I have been working together for over 10 years in some capacity, both on camera and off, so the relationship between boss and co-worker is often blurred!  We have always been partners both at home and at the office but we also have our own interests, independent of one another, which allows us to remain individuals. Truly, you only have to ask our four children who the real boss is in our household!!!

From one lifestyle blogger to another, I'm curious to know what you think the highlights and low points of blogging are?

The Sarah Baeumler website has given me an opportunity to engage with other women who have similar interests.  It is an amazing accomplishment to finish a blog with the satisfaction of knowing I have shared something very personal that may also resonate well with others.  I have enjoyed receiving feedback from all of my followers and readers. That being said, it can sometimes be a challenge to find the time to sit down and put my thoughts into words after a long day on set. 

With four kids, I'm sure back-to-school was a busy time for you! Any tips to offer parents for managing school routines, paperwork, etc.?

Stay organized!  Our family uses a shared Google calendar that helps Bryan and I keep track of who is where. I try hard to stay on top of things by preparing in advance for the upcoming week rather than running around frantically the night before. But inevitably, best laid plans…

How would you finish the sentence "This Mom loves..."?

This Mom loves all things chocolate

This Mom loves carbohydrates

This Mom loves hot yoga

This Mom loves scuba diving with Bryan and Quintyn

This Mom loves building sandcastles with Josephine on the beach

This Mom loves escaping to New York City for a weekend away!  

Thanks for opening up, Bryan and Sarah!

Now, one lucky Canadian This Mom Loves reader will win a great prize package from the Baeumlers, consisting of:

• One Sarah Delivered box featuring items personally selected by Sarah (if you're interested, these boxes are for sale every month)
• One autographed Measure Twice book from Bryan

The contents of the winner's Sarah Delivered box will be different, but just to give you an idea of how packed with great products they are, here is what I received in her "Revive" box (kindly sent by HGTV Canada):

Please fill out the following form to enter to win, with bonus entries for following HGTV Canada on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram and following This Mom Loves on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. The contest will end Thursday, October 20th at midnight Eastern, after which time a winner will be chosen by random number generation.

Good luck, and be sure to catch Bryan, Inc. on Sundays at 10 pm ET/PT on HGTV!

My Maryam Monsef Profile for Canadian Living Magazine

Back in the fall I had the pleasure of interviewing the inspiring Peterborough Kawartha MP and Cabinet Minister Maryam Monsef for a profile which was published in the April issue of Canadian Living magazine.

The profile is now live on the Canadian Living website, and you can find it here:

Maryam Monsef: From refugee to barrier-breaking MP

I'm so appreciative that Canadian Living gave me this opportunity, and a special thanks goes out to contributing editor Jackie Kovacs for her guidance throughout the writing process.

Melissa Grelo Opens Up To Parents Canada Magazine

A while back I had a conversation with The Social's Melissa Grelo for Parents Canada magazine (we seem to go back and forth: I interview her for print, she interviews me on TV), and she was incredibly open and honest: about her struggles with infertility, her passionate thoughts about fitness, the importance of couple time and girls' outings when you're a mom, and the impact of motherhood on her career. A short version is available in the latest print issue of Parents Canada, and you can find the full interview online here.

My thanks to Melissa for being so candid!

Melissa Grelo Shares Health and Fitness Tips For 2016

As promised, today I'm sharing a conversation about New Year's health and fitness goals that I recently had with cohost of THE SOCIAL, Melissa Grelo. 

I've decided we're close enough that I can call her Mel now, since we've interviewed each other so many times. Back in the summer of 2014 I went behind-the-scenes at THE SOCIAL and we chatted for a Momterview here on the blog. Then this past September, Melissa and Traci Melchor interviewed me when I made my debut on the show talking about school success for kids. Next, she and Marci Ien were asking the questions when I was back on THE SOCIAL in November offering homework help for parents. Just before Christmas, I was the one doing the grilling when I spoke with Melissa for a Parents Canada feature - coming soon.

This time around, Mel and I spoke - as busy moms do - during the morning commute! (Well, her commute - she was jealous that I live five minutes from the school and didn't have to rush!)

How do you feel about New Year's resolutions?

Generally I don't make them, only because I think I'm lucky in many ways that for the most part I live a pretty healthy lifestyle all year long. But I know oftentimes if you've been overindulging or doing things particularly around the holidays and you feel like you need to get yourself back in the saddle a lot more people seem to be pushed or enticed by the idea of a New Year's resolution - something specific they want to improve. Most years I haven't made resolutions, not that I'm against them because I'm all for people making positive change, but this year it was a little different. My daughter's going to be two years old this March and I thought there's one thing that I've always had in the back of my mind, and maybe it would lend itself to a New Year's resolution, and that is to get re-inspired by my once very fit self. In my early 20s I used to do fitness competitions and I thought that's the kind of shape I probably want to try to strive for again and this seemed to be a really good year to do it. 

So clearly health and fitness are big for you in 2016. How do you plan to meet your goals?

Anybody who has to make a plan is aware that you've got to just break it down into simple steps and then execute. It's really no more difficult than that. It's making a plan and then figuring out, how do I get this done in a realistic way? I asked myself okay, what's my end goal here? And then I broke it down into smaller pieces. The first thing I did was decide to sign back on to the Activia Challenge. It's something I did back in September after a particularly indulgent summer and it worked so well for me. I really enjoyed the product, I've been a longtime fan of it, and I thought this is something easy to start, so that was step one. All I had to do was enjoy some great-tasting yogurt.

Secondly was to figure out what else was I going to change in my diet to have it a little leaner and cleaner, keep it balanced, and that's what I did. Maybe it's not having that extra glass of champagne on the weekend! I just started to cut out little things.

Finally, it was figuring out my workout plan which includes getting back with my personal trainer. 

It's that simple. I wish it was grander and bigger and more complex but it's basically three steps and now it's up to me to actually do the hard work which I've started in earnest.

I am a real treadmill girl, but I can't often convince myself to do strength training. How do you motivate yourself and make it enjoyable?

This is a big question I get from women because I do a lot of strength training and I really enjoy it. There are a lot of misconceptions surrounding strength training, especially for women, and I think maybe that's partially why a lot of women don't have it as part of their fitness regimen. I think the first thing in terms of getting motivated is understanding what it can do for you and what it can do for your body, and I'm not just talking about aesthetics, I'm talking about preventing injuries, how it makes you feel throughout the day, how it can energize you to have a little more muscle mass on your body, and finally for some women it is to realize that wow, it can actually reshape your body in a way that you might find really really pleasing. 

I think the other part is intimidation. I think a lot of women don't know where to begin in the gym or at home with weights, so it's important to get educated to figure out basic, simple things you can do with weight training. Some of it doesn't even include other weights, you can just use your own body weight and you don't even need equipment, so I think it's getting educated to figure out how can you do it so you feel knowledgeable. I think a lot of women are perfectionists in some respects, so trying to go to the gym to the section where it's predominately men working out, that's intimidating stuff. If you don't feel confident with what you're doing, that's a big deal too. So getting educated, knowing what it can do for your body, all the benefits that come along with it, I think will go a long way, just to help you start to introduce a little bit of weight training.

Mel on THE SOCIAL with Traci Melchor and one of her favourite guests!

You're on live TV every day so of course your appearance is important. Do you put a lot of pressure on yourself, or is there external pressure to look a certain way?

I think it's both. I think the pressure on myself is because I've always been active and I know how I feel and look the best so that's definitely coming from inside of me, I just don't like when I'm not in my best physical form. It's interesting that there's a notion that television puts on an extra 10 or 15 pounds and that's actually true. What it does to someone on camera, it plays with your mind a little bit because you have the live studio audience who always says, "Oh my gosh, you are so much smaller in person!" and then you go, "What does that mean I look like on television?", and that plays with your head. I think if you don't have a really good sense of self already it can really mess you up. I'm very aware of that, and so it contributes to my motivation to stay fit for sure, but at the end of the day it's what I look like on television versus what I know is my reality, and that's where you have to keep yourself in balance. 

#tbt Visiting the Acropolis in Athens, Greece on my honeymoon, 2008.

A photo posted by Melissa Grelo (@melissagrelo) on Jan 7, 2016 at 7:11pm PST

Recently you posted a throwback photo from your honeymoon and had a lot of commenters weighing in about how good you look as a brunette. Any plans to go "back to your roots", so to speak?

Not right now, although I love reading people's comments! I posted that picture because I love the Acropolis and I thought, "Wow, Greece is going through so much turmoil but I love that country and I love Athens," and I didn't even think about my hair...and that's what everybody jumped on! I thought that was really interesting! For me, in many ways I still just think of myself looking like that, if that makes any sense, but at this point no, I don't plan on going darker, I really like my light hair, but you never know!

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Thanks for sharing, Melissa! I have a feeling you'll be in the interviewer's seat next as I have just been booked to return to THE SOCIAL in February!

You can find more information at Activia.ca/challenge.

Disclosure: This post was sponsored by Activia. Opinions are, as always, my own.

My Top 10 Posts of 2015!

Today I'm counting down my Top 10 (non-giveaway) posts of 2015! Did you miss any?

# 10  My Appearance on The Social (this was my very first appearance - the second one was too recent to rack up enough hits to make the list!)

# 9 Behind-the-Scenes at Global's The Morning Show
(You'll notice there have been some changes since I was there early in 2015.)

# 8 Ben and Jessica Mulroney's Wedding Flashback - my article for Today's Bride Magazine

# 7 Sangita Patel: The ET Canada Momterview

# 6 Part 2 Behind-the-Scenes at Global News Toronto with Alan Carter and Farah Nasser

# 5 Lauren Holly: The Momterview

# 4 Chantal Kreviazuk: The Momterview

# 3 Homework For Parents: Book Your Child's Eye Exam


# 2 Part 1 Behind-the-Scenes at Global News Toronto with Alan Carter and Farah Nasser

They even let me test out the anchor desk!

# 1 Liza Fromer: The Momterview

Thanks for all of your support in 2015! Every click, comment, like, share, tweet and email means so very much to me...and I'm already excited about what I'll be bringing you in 2016!

My Interview with Sarah Allen from Global TV's Remedy

A few months ago I had the chance to interview Canadian actress Sarah Allen, from the Global TV medical drama Remedy. When we chatted (for Parents Canada magazine), she was still weeks away from giving birth, and we talked all about maternity wear, pregnancy rules and her flexible birth plan. While some stars are hesitant to get personal, Sarah had no problem elaborating on her responses to all of my questions.

Sarah has since given birth to a baby girl. Daughter Rae was born at home on May 12, 2015 weighing 4 lbs 10 oz. After a few days in the hospital to "fatten up", she returned home and began "eating like a machine", according to her proud mama.

We've recently learned that Remedy will sadly not be returning for another season, so we'll have to look forward to seeing Sarah elsewhere on the small (or big screen) in the future!

You can find highlights from the interview here on the Parents Canada website, and follow Sarah Allen on Twitter.

Lauren Holly: The Momterview

With a huge range of film (Any Given Sunday, Dumb and Dumber) and television (Picket Fences, NCIS) roles to her credit, actress Lauren Holly has enjoyed an extremely successful and varied career to date.

A busy single mom who has made Toronto home with her three boys Azer (13, short for Alexander), Henry (12) and George (11), she currently stars on CTV's Motive, and has recently partnered with Le Chateau for a fashion collection appropriately named Lauren's Closet.

Lauren recently took the time to chat with me for This Mom Loves and SavvyMom.ca, opening up about not only her work, but parenting in the age of social media and video games as well as aging in Hollywood.

While researching for our interview, the first website I came across labelled you as an American Canadian. Is that how you would identify yourself now?

Yeah, I think that's pretty good! I'm not a Canadian citizen but I'm a permanent resident and I've definitely made Canada my home. But I'm red, white and blue USA too!

{Note: when spelling Azer's name for me, Lauren pronounced the letter "zee", which I told her means she's definitely still more American than Canadian. Though many of my Canadian students do the same thing!}

Why did you choose Toronto for you and your sons?

To be honest, I was living in Los Angeles and I was on NCIS, and I did not want to raise the boys in L.A. I don't know that it's the best place for me to raise kids. I wanted them to have a different upbringing, but I wanted to keep working. I picked Toronto kind of by a fluke, because I grew up in upstate New York about two hours away, I have family there, and I thought okay, it's close to my family, and it's a city where lots happens. I didn't want it to be Manhattan because of things that had happened with 9/11, so I thought I'm just going to try it and see, and I ended up loving it.

Photo Max Abadian/Le Chateau

You've joined with Le Chateau for a gorgeous clothing collection called Lauren's Closet. Could you explain how that partnership came about?

Such a fluke and it was so great! I was cast in a movie called After the Ball, and Le Chateau was designing the wardrobe. Having not lived here for very long, I wasn't completely aware of Le Chateau, and when I went to my first fitting, I loved the way the clothes were fitting me. I became aware of the brand, and I got close to the owners of the company through the making of the movie, and I used to tease them and say "You should rename yourselves Lauren's Closet because I'm spending all my money!" It just sort of happened. I think it was because they loved the way I discovered them as an adult woman, and I think there were things about me that they felt were representative of their brand and what they wanted to get out there. It's been great. I'm really excited about my spring collection that's out now.

Photo Max Abadian/Le Chateau

I love when you join the ladies on THE SOCIAL {Lauren will be back co-hosting in April} because you're able to dish about the celebrity lifestyle without actually throwing anyone under the bus.

I'd never want to do that, it's bad karma!

For sure! What do you think our readers might be interested or surprised to learn about Hollywood and celebrity life? 

I think the truth is that Hollywood tends to be like high school. There are the cool kids and all those different classes and even the bullies. The Hollywood star system is a little like a high school!

Lauren surprises Traci, Cynthia, Lainey and Melissa with handbags from Lauren's Closet.

You're on the CTV show Motive {a crime drama where the victim and killer are revealed moments into each episode; she plays Medical Examiner Dr. Betty Rogers} which films in Vancouver. Do you have a certain schedule for flying in and out to be on set? 

From September to February my life is a little bit ridiculous! An episode takes either seven or eight business days to film. Of those eight business days, I typically am busy four of them. I have a travel day, two shooting days, and a travel day. Usually two nights I'm gone, sometimes three nights, and then I'm home for four. I wanted to disrupt my boys as little as possible, so I go back and forth. The deal with my boys is that during the season each of them comes with me once alone, and we do one trip where all three come with me at once. It works out pretty well, actually. I have a tremendous manny - yes, I have a male nanny for the boys, and he's awesome, and he stays at the house when I travel, and the boys seem to think it's kind of fun because I'm here, but then they get a couple of nights when it's "guy night". The only frustrating thing is that trying to schedule things is a joke because I never know which days I'm going, every episode it changes, so that's hard to do, but their teachers have been super understanding and get that if I happen to be away on a parent/teacher night they'll make alternate arrangements.

Photo Max Abadian/Le Chateau

You've done so much on the big screen and the small screen. At this point in your career, do you have a preference? 

People ask me that, and I really don't. There are so many pros and cons to the two of them. With the small screen, if you're on a show that's successful and it stays on, it really becomes like a second family. You work together so much and get so close to your cast and crew, it's almost like home. It becomes very easy. But then again to do a movie is really fun because you get to go and play a character for a short period of time, and maybe you don't love playing that character, but it's great for that small amount of time. They really both have positives and negatives. 

A fan on Twitter, Franzi, wants to know what character you've played that has influenced your life the most.

I have two of them, for two different reasons. One is that in Picket Fences I played a character named Max. That influenced my professional life the most because I realized fully the relationship between the writer and the actor. That was an amazing experience because David E. Kelley wrote for me. He saw things that I could do, and then he would write those things for me, what I did well. It was really an incredible experience for me as an actor, and really fun. 

Personally, I'd say probably when I did Dragon and played Linda Lee. That affected me spiritually. It was an emotional experience for me. My younger brother died suddenly right before we began filming, and so they postponed and waited for me to get it together, and when I was in Asia it was very healing. My co-star, Jason Scott Lee, was really a healing person. It's hard to explain, but he opened my eyes to all of that, and it was really something to be in Asia going through my grieving process. That affected me a lot, and getting close to the Lee family, and having the horrible tragedy with Brandon Lee. It was just a very emotional and enlightening experience, that movie.

Lauren and her boys; photo by Babak

I know this next question gets asked a lot, but I really am curious about your perspective on women and aging in Hollywood.

Listen, it's difficult. But it's differently difficult for me living in Canada because the Canadian mentality is different than the L.A. mentality. It's so competitive, your physical body, in Los Angeles, and I don't really feel the same pressures living here which I very much appreciate. It's funny because I'm working so much right now, more than I did five years ago, which is kind of interesting to me. I feel like there's this little space you go through where you're a little too young to play the full-on mother of adult children, or whatever, and you go through these phases. My biggest problem about aging is matching what's going on in my head with what's going on on the outside! That's really my struggle. Inside, I feel like I'm 20, and I see my reflection and think "What the hell? Who is that?" or I don't understand why I would be cast a certain way or opposite a certain person and then I see myself and I realize "Oh yeah, I guess that does work", so I don't know when that gets married. That's what the bigger struggle is.

Your boys are 13, 12 and 11. Do you think being a teen or tween is harder now than it used to be?

One hundred percent. The struggles I have! First of all you have things like social media. I'm thankful I have boys, I think it might be easier for boys than it is for girls as it's not as important to them, but even so my oldest one goes through phases where there are different bands he likes, or symbols, and he wants to post pictures on Instagram. I'm thinking it looks really harsh, and you can't do that because these things that you put out there aren't just for right now, when you're in eighth grade and think it's really fun for a month, but when you're 48 and you're up for a big promotion...

That's what's frightening. I was able to go through and make my own mistakes totally in private, in my small town with my 10 friends knowing, and it's completely different now. That's kind of hard for them to understand, that there's a bigger picture. Also, all of the things that being online opens up. I hate the fact that they're so much more knowledgeable about sex, about violence, all that stuff than I was at their age. They've all seen images and I think it's such a shame. I've tried to be as protective as possible, but at some point it's just too easy for them to have access, or to have a friend with access, and I hate that. When it comes to sex, I think it's the unknown that made it more special, so I worry about that a little bit. I feel like parents now, we're the first parents to go through this, and it's going to be interesting to see how it all plays out. It's going to be hard.

Then the next thing is the video games! It's the biggest fight in my house. It's an absolute constant thing. Number one, they all want to play games that are rated M, they all have violence, guns, whatever, I can't stand them. In my house, my boys claim that I'm the only mother in the world who doesn't allow these games. They get so addicted to them, and I see complete behaviour changes. I've tried to do the thing where during the school week, there's none, and on the weekends, you have this limited amount of time. Also, living in Canada, we go through a lot of days when it's not nice to play outside. Who wants to go play in grey, cold slush? There's nothing to do, so they want the games. Even their schoolwork now is done on various "clouds" electronically, and I think they're doing their homework but then they click over and they're on a game, and you can't tell unless you're sitting right next to them. I just know that a lot of moms are like me, and this is what we talk about. Unless you're sheltered and live on some island where all the kids have the exact same rules, nothing matters when they leave the house. It's very difficult.

{I shared with Lauren that I already worry about this with my girls, who are nine and seven, and she warned me that "It's just going to get worse and worse. Wait until they're 12 and 10!"  Gee, thanks! I guess that's what I get for going off script!}

Photo Max Abadian/Le Chateau

What do you think is your biggest strength as a mom?

I think that I'm good at talking to them. Conversation is big in my house, and I learn a lot about them and I feel like from the fact that I talk so much to them, they feel they can come to me about stuff. I'm hoping that continues. Even with my oldest, his friends are starting to call me, which has been very gratifying. They have my cell phone number, and they call me to check in, and say "What are you guys doing this weekend? Can I see Azer?" and I like that it's open and not unusual.

How would you finish the sentence "This Mom Loves"...?

I love cuddling with my boys. I love cozy blankets, big couch, watching a movie. Sometimes it gets me through the week!

Thanks for the chat, Lauren! You can catch Lauren on CTV's Motive, follow her on Twitter, or check out her website to learn more.