How To Get Ready For a Southern Vacation: Type A Style

The (somewhat scary but perhaps amusing) preparations for a southern family vacay (in no particular order):

• Untangle 4 sets of earbuds for plane. (Find out en route to airport that there will not be seatback entertainment on plane that you and children were expecting. React to e-mail in such a way that husband thinks we have been notified of a death in the family.)
• Reserve books at library based on latest book club assignment and recommendations from all talk shows watched (total 10).
• Force Ask daughters to recycle Valentines and consume/donate Valentine's Day candy before departing. Use photos of destination as incentive:

• Order new swimsuit from Old Navy (because - fast free shipping, easy returns. This was not sponsored.) 
• Keep self from mentioning upcoming trip on social media, despite excitement to share. Remind self that announcing partial vacancy of home is not wise.
• Book housesitter. Can always depend on former babysitter to look after house, or to play role of host in mock talk show segment being videotaped for submission. Different story.
• Leave notes for housesitter, attempting to be respectful and not micromanage the smart young woman while feeling need to provide as much trivial detail as possible. 
• Attempt to clear PVR. Have many shows to record over 8 days away, and consider PVR another area to "declutter". Ask husband if he can delete any of his shows. Be reminded by husband that episode of Live! With Regis and Kelly from August 2011 where we can be spotted in audience very briefly is still on PVR. Stop bugging husband.
• Use moisturizer with self-tanner for two full weeks just to move from "Ghostly White" to "Yes, I'm a Tourist". 
• Repeat tanning mantra over and over: "A golden glow fades, sun damage is forever." Buy extra sunscreen, while secretly hoping that it doesn't totally work.
• Pack for self and two children (with their assistance, of course). Don't even offer to pack for husband, though hear that some wives actually do that. 
• Remember any medications that may possibly be required during trip. Include children's Gravol, though it won't help when most needed - when our family is ordered to exit the plane with sick child and catch later flight. (Now you have to come back for my trip post.)
• Get manicure (shellac of course), not knowing that tropical orange shade will exactly match tacky wristband provided by resort. (I swear, I didn't know.)
• Do pedi at home, attempting to be frugal. 
• Recognize irony in using word "frugal" in a post about preparing for an all-inclusive March Break Jamaican vacation.
• Remain blissfully unaware that kids' spray sunscreen and sand mix together to create nail polish remover and pedi will not last through first beach day.
• Remember desperation for Canadian treats during last tropical trip. Stock up accordingly (Smarties, Lays).
• Complete all personal grooming necessary for swimsuit wear in March.
• Purchase extra razor blades.
• Check in for hotel and flight online at the first moment possible, though the timing really makes no difference whatsoever.
• Write oh-so-witty list about trip preparations.
• Remind self that can NOT share trip info on social media in advance.
• At airport, purchase magazines that cost more in total than the bathing suit purchased for the trip.

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And now, we're back from Montego Bay, Jamaica...best family vacay ever! (New York with hubby and Vegas with sisters-in-law still top the "Couples Trip" and "Girls' Getaway" categories.)

Just be glad that I am NOT doing a "Recovering From Southern Vacation and Getting Back Into Routine" post. That one would be even less exciting, and even though I didn't drink in Montego Bay, the first day back almost called for it. Not for any dramatic reason, just because I insist on being unpacked with laundry done, mail and phone calls caught up and life generally back in order within 24 hours of returning from a vacation, even if on that same day of return both daughters are performing in a big concert.

Type A, remember?

Tons of trip info (yes, I was able to relax!), with photos, coming later this week!

Should Kids Be Allowed To Dye Their Hair? My Today's Parent Article

This was a fun article to write, as parents have varying opinions on the matter, and even the medical experts don't yet have definitive data one way or the other. There are studies involving rats ingesting huge amounts of the chemicals found in hair dye (which don't look good), but those don't exactly correlate perfectly with humans using the ingredients externally (and perhaps only occasionally/rarely) and then washing them off.

Here's a quick snapshot of the article in print in the March issue (I always love to see that!)

To read the entire article online, visit: http://www.todaysparent.com/kids/tween-and-teen/hair-dye/

Thanks again to Sue, Sally, Kim, "Kelly", Amber, Alyson Schafer and Dr. Lanphear for their contributions!

What do you think - should kids be colouring their hair?

Look What I Found: The Public Speaking Edition

When going through old souvenirs, I came across my certificates from Royal Canadian Legion speaking competitions. While it seemed like a big deal at the time, I think I only ever made it as far as one step past our local Legion, which is a far cry from the provincial championships my niece and nephew have both earned in the past few years!

What were my award-winning topics, you may (not) be wondering?

Grade 4: Penpals

Grade 5: Gum

Grade 6: Glasses

Grade 7: Soap Operas

Grade 8: Anorexia

And yes, you do see the name "Katie" on there, which is what I was called until high school, when I shortened it. My real name is Kathleen, and my parents called me Katie as a child, thinking I could switch to Kathleen when I was older, but it was too hard a transition. One year, mom registered me for soccer with my full name, and teammates kept yelling "Kathleen! Your ball!" as I looked around the field wondering who was supposed to be going for it. At least that's my story.

At the school where I teach (and my daughters attend), it has been a longstanding tradition for students to present speeches (called "storytelling" in the primary grades) as early as Grade 1. Parents help kids to prepare and practise their material at home, which they deliver to the class for an Oral Communication mark. Winners proceed to a school level-competition, and those champs move on to the local Legion.

Last year, in Grade 1, Frannie's first ever speech was all about her teeth adventures (beginning at 19 months of age when she fell and knocked the two front ones out!) She earned a silver medal at school (competing against three of her cousins in the same division), and third place at the Legion competition.

Sharing Teeth Adventures, 2013

This year, she chose to speak about rules (her opening was "Rule Number One For Kids: Your parents are always right. Rule Number Two: if your parents are wrong, go back to Rule Number One!") She was selected to go to the gym, where she placed third, moving on to the Legion where she brought home another bronze medal.

Frannie is lucky, because she loves to perform in public (she's been singing and dancing on stage since she was three), and she is a strong reader who can memorize easily. This year, we also noticed a huge difference in her ability to take feedback and make improvements to her presentation, which was great to see (yes, she has a bit of her mother in her. Okay, a lot.) She may be lacking a little in competitive drive, but I'm not going to consider that a fault. From what we see (and I'll gladly admit that parents don't always see it all) she seems to be a good sport, congratulating winners and being happy for the speaking accomplishments of her family and friends.

The ability to speak in front of a crowd is a wonderful skill to have, though for some students giving a speech, even just in front of their peers, can be both scary and stressful. As teachers, we're still trying to decide whether making classroom speeches optional might be a route to take in the future.

Best of luck to two of my nephews and one niece who are moving on to the next step in 2014 competitions!

School Roundup: February 2014

Okay - this one's going to be brief, with just a few highlights:

Language:

I love to connect a study on Point of View (peoples' thoughts/feelings) with Black History Month, and I'm always touched by the fact that my (almost exclusively white and of European descent) sweet students have very little understanding of the idea of racial hatred. Though many have limited exposure to other colours and cultures, they also don't have any preconceived (or drilled-in notions) of superiority or inferiority.

Great books:

The Story of Ruby Bridges by Robert Cole

Henry's Freedom Box by Ellen Levine

The Other Side of the Fence by Jacqueline Woodson

In writing, kids worked on Point of View poetry (based on The Bug In Teacher's Coffee by Kalli Dakos), where they chose an inanimate object (ranging from curtains to hockey stick to lightning) and wrote a poem from that object's point of view. They all had a fabulous understanding of the skill, and the finished products (typed and illustrated) made a great hallway display.

Art:

This was my favourite Art activity of the month: cityscape quilts, based on the book Tar Beach, by Faith Ringgold. Kids outlined their sheets with fabric squares, then added black buildings and cut out yellow construction paper to represent the lit windows. The pièce de résistance: I took the kids' photos in a "flying through the air" position, which they cut out and added above the skyscrapers.

Original Pinterest pin: http://www.pinterest.com/pin/175288610470824911/

Religion:

As Ash Wednesday approaches, I thought these Lent Boxes were very appropriate, with symbols representing this religious season:

Original Pinterest pin: http://www.pinterest.com/pin/175288610470878203/

Science:

As I try to get on board with "Inquiry-Based Learning", I felt our Science unit on Forces was a great place to start. We began the unit using a textbook/videos, led by me as the teacher, but spent the last few days with students devising their own questions about Forces, based on their knowledge, understanding and interests, and then having the opportunity to explore answers to their questions. I was kept hopping ("We need a skipping rope!", "Can you get us the magnets bin?", etc.) but it was totally worth it to see them engaged in (reasonably) self-directed learning. This is definitely a subject that is conducive to inquiry, as I don't feel pressured to cover each and every curriculum expectation.

And that was February...or some of it!

The Happiness Project: March

This year I'm following along with one of my favourite books, Gretchen Rubin's "The Happiness Project", to find ways to make life even better - not just for me, but those around me who benefit from my happiness!

Gretchen's goals for March were based on the theme of "Aim Higher: Work", and were:

• Launch a blog
• Enjoy the fun of failure
• Ask for help
• Work smart
• Enjoy now

As a productivity junkie (I get high from crossing things off my list) work is very important to me. I have two paying jobs (teaching and writing) and there's also the whole running-a-household hobby that so many of us putter at, meaning there's always work to be done. On a writing-related note, I love this quote from Rubin: "I love writing, reading, research, note taking, analysis and criticism. (Well, I don't actually love writing, but then practically no writer ever loves the writing part.)" 

Launch a blog: Check! I just celebrated my fourth blogiversary, and I do think that my blog has contributed to my work (in both official areas) and to my own sense of accomplishment, and therefore general happiness. Blogging has given me so many amazing opportunities, not only to share my experiences and opinions with an audience, but also to work with brands, travel, and have tons of behind-the-scenes opportunities...and the Momterviews alone are worth all of the work that has gone into This Mom Loves. What I need to remember (which also relates to "Enjoy now") is that it's more important for me and my girls to have fun in the moment, and not worry so much about commemorating the occasion for my blog or corresponding Twitter/Facebook feeds. I have been guilty of pushing a photo op until the moment has passed and the fun is over! 

Enjoy the fun of failure: This one isn't easy, but having spent several years pitching magazines - often unsuccessfully, if success is defined as landing the assignment - I can now deal with rejection and learn from it. Not sure if I'm at the "enjoy the fun of it" phase...but maybe that will come! Being less afraid of failing has helped me to take more risks - especially since I usually have the safety of my laptop to hide behind - to the point that sometimes I'm more scared of what will happen if the answer is "yes" than if it's "no"!

Ask for help: I have never been afraid to do this at school, and I'd like to think that I'm the kind of coworker that others find "helpful". Cheesy as it may sound, I really do believe that we all win when we work as a team. I've been very lucky though that my husband is in the same profession as I am. Perhaps we spend a bit too much time talking about work, but I think it has helped us to bond by sharing our experiences. In the writing world, I know there are people I can turn to for advice, and I never hesitate to help another writer who has a question or needs a hand. Plus there's my amazing friend Sarah from Sleeping Is For Losers (Twitter @sarahnewk), whom I just met for the first time in real life, but who is always one of the first people with whom I share my blogging and writing news - and who is also quick to support me when I face a freelancing setback or disappointment (she's not telling...I don't think!)

Work smart: Why, oh why, do some people like to do things at the last minute? I have never in my life pulled a work-related all-nighter. High school, university, first year teaching...I have always prioritized my sleep (and relaxing in the evenings in front of the television!) and I pride myself on getting things done early. I'm a pretty efficient person (when hubby wants to get things done, his mantra is "Be a Kate! Be a Kate!") but that definitely means that I'm also a bit of a serious person, which some might see as a little bit boring. I'm okay with the fact that no one ever has, or ever will, refer to me as "a party girl".

Enjoy now: This one needs more work for sure. I'm very happy with my life right now (I don't suffer from the "everything will be better when...." syndrome) but since I always want to be ahead with what needs to be done tomorrow, I know I don't do enough rose-smelling. Definitely something to focus on this month...and March Break should certainly help with that. Is anyone else out there so done with winter???

Do any of these work-related happiness goals resonate with you? What are you going to focus on this month?

To catch up:

The Happiness Project: January
The Happiness Project: February

My First Official Photo Shoot: The Big Reveal

Last Sunday I attended a neat little party called "Headshots and Happy Hour".

Hosted by the lovely Alex (@clippo, I Don't Blog), it was an opportunity for a handful of bloggers to get together and have new headshots taken by the very talented Cherie-Lynn Buchanan (@clbuchanan, CL Buchanan Photography).

As each of us waited for our turn in front of the camera, Alex's husband served warm, homemade cinnamon buns and fancy-looking lattes (I'm not a coffee girl, but they sure looked good!) and we had a chance to get to know each other. (I think I'm the only one who hadn't met anyone in the group...so aren't you proud of me for actually agreeing to attend? This is big, people.)

While I wasn't thrilled about having my picture taken, the highlight of my day was finally meeting my best-writer-friend, Sarah (@SarahNewk, Sleeping Is For Losers) for the first time in real life! She has been an amazing professional support as we both navigate the freelance writing/media world, and you wouldn't believe how much you can go through with someone without ever seeing them face-to-face!

Cherie-Lynn had a very warm and complimentary manner - very important when trying to get women to relax and pose for photos - and only needed a few minutes with each of us to get the job done.

Within days she provided us with a very handy online process for checking our proofs and making selections. Our package allows three different poses, in both black and white, and it took me a while (and a few other opinions) to make my selections. I think I have a healthy attitude about my appearance in general, and I don't obsess over how I look in day-to-day candid shots with friends and family, but for some reason I have high expectations for how I will look in official, individual photos like these. I can always find something to critique, but I'm making an effort not to be so hard on myself. (The other ladies' shots were AMAZING, by the way. They're lovely women to start with, but Cherie-Lynn really brings out the best in her subjects.)

You will soon be seeing some or all of these pics popping up on the blog, Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, my front lawn, etc., but here's a sneak peek:

Which one should I start using first? Do you prefer the colour or the black and white? I am well aware that I am the only one who cares about this, but humour me here, would you?

Anastasia's Picks: More Books For Tweens and Teens

Right from my twelve-year-old niece, "Anastasia" - more book recommendations for tweens!

Game Slaves by Gard Skinner

Team Phoenix is the best video game villain group in the world.  Fast, strong, and powerful, they are top on the ranks. One day, a new assignment shows up. Her name is Dakota. Phoenix never questioned the programming of Blackstar, the company that launched their very existence, but Dakota does. Slowly, the team begins to realize that they may be more out there than video games, and they embark on a journey to discover who they really are. 

A great read for any sci fi lover! Very intriguing and captivating. I rank this a 8 out of 10, and recommend this book to ages 12 and up. 

Unlikely Loves by Jennifer S.Holland

Unlikely Loves is a adorably detailed book, with heartwarming stories that all ages can enjoy. Suitable for the workplace, school, or home, Holland delivers us wonderful tales about a surprising couple, who, against all odds, manage to have a lovely animal relationship. Similar to Unlikely Friendships, but even more amazing short stories about our awesome animal friends. Honestly, this book is so uplifting when you need it or not, and I would call this book one of my personal favorites. 5 stars indeed!

Seers by Kristine Bowe

Seers is a captivating story about the life of the exceptionally talented brain-wise. Leesie, a seer that rises above the rest, is sent to another new school on another new mission. But this time, it is different. When Leesie tries to enter her victim's mind, she finds that it is guarded. The people she thought were friends once are a lot more than that, and together, her friends/fellow seers embark on a mission to protect a dark secret, that could wipe out the memory of everyone on the planet. I loved this book! The talent and special powers of the seers leaves you wondering what will happen next, and questioning if everybody really is who they seem to be! I recommend this Book for 10-16 year olds. A great read!

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Thanks, Anastasia!

Cynthia Loyst: "The Social" Momterview

This Mom Loves has moved! 

For updated content (plus all the posts found here) on our fresh new site, visit www.thismomloves.ca

You may also be interested in my "behind-the-scenes" visit to THE SOCIAL, and my latest interview with Cynthia on set!

As a new mom of a nine-month-old son and one of the four co-hosts of CTV's hit talk show "The Social", Cynthia Loyst is a busy woman. Thankfully, she made time to have a chat with me, sharing her views on marriage and sexuality, the success of the new show, and everything in between!

This Mom: How did the Social hosting gig come about?

Cynthia Loyst: This was a project that was rumbling around the building for a while, and around January of last year there was a call put out to some of us to go for an audition. I was around seven months pregnant when I got invited to the audition and I was really excited about it. There were a lot of different people who were auditioning and they tried different combinations of people, but the very first one that we did was with the four of us. {Cynthia co-hosts alongside Melissa Grelo, Lainey Lui and Traci Melchor.} Right from that moment we all felt there was a kind of chemistry and energy and even friction between us, but it was also couched in a lot of affection for each other. There were fireworks right away, and even though we tried a bunch of things and there were several days of auditions, looking back, it seems clear that there was something magical brewing right then.

Cynthia (Photo: CTV)

TM: Congratulations on being renewed for another season! Clearly you knew there was chemistry from the beginning, but did you expect it to catch on with viewers so well? 

CL: For a long time people have said "We'd love to have a Canadian version of 'The View'", and initially when people heard about our show there were lots of comparisons made, simply because we were a group of opinionated women discussing hot topics. But I think since the show has launched, people have noticed how unique it is. 

I think part of what people are responding to is our group dynamic - we are all very different personally and professionally. There's Melissa who is married and pregnant has a news background, Lainey is married but childless by choice and a gossip maven, Traci is a single mom of twins is an entertainment reporter and me, the common-law married new mom, who is also the resident sex and relationship expert. We all bring really distinct things to the table. But the most important aspect of our show I think is our interaction with the audience. The fact that they can weigh in, in real time, on our conversation and send it in a whole different direction makes them an essential part of the show. {Viewers are invited to interact through social media during the live shows, and members of the studio audience are encouraged to have their smartphones out during taping.}

What surprises me the most is the immense diversity in the audience, both the one sitting in front of us every day, and the ones who are watching at home. It seems to transcend age brackets and cultures. Families come together, women come in and say "My boyfriend got me tickets for the show", gay men are coming in with their partners, it's a really interesting cross-section of people, and I think that surprised me more than anything else.

Traci, Cynthia, guest Elisha Cuthbert, Lainey and Melissa (Photo: CTV)

TM: I have a really hard-hitting journalism question for you here: how is your wardrobe selected every day?

CL: {Laughs} We have an amazing stylist named Alisa Krost and she is an artist! She's given the task every day to come up with a look that not only works for each one of us individually, and we all have very distinctive personal styles - and personalities that go along with those styles, I think - and also trying to make it a cohesive look where there might be flavours of the same thing in there. You'll notice there might be a theme, like yellows, or yesterday there was a Spring feeling going on, and every single day she somehow pulls this together and makes us all feel as comfortable as we possibly can. 

TM: You’re very open talking about sexuality {she's the former producer and host of Sex Matters and SexTV}  but is there anything you won’t talk about on television, or topics that have had you tongue tied on the show?

CL: Not really...although Lainey is much more comfortable talking about poo than I am, for sure! We did a topic about our different bowel habits and we had little plasticine bits that were supposed to represent what our "situation" was like, and that wouldn't be my first choice of something I'd like to communicate to the public and people I don't know...or people I do know! For me, as you mentioned, sexuality is really important and I think people need to get a dialogue going, especially in this day and age. Not only do some people not communicate with their partner abut what their needs are, but it starts at a really young age when parents don't feel comfortable talking to their kids, and then kids don't feel comfortable talking to their parents, so where are they learning about sexuality from? The internet, their friends. There's a lot of bad information out there, and we know that knowledge is power when it comes to any subject, so I love that this show has also given a forum to talking about sexuality in an intelligent and measured kind of way. We're also sometimes playful about it as well, which I think is important. You can't always make a subject that is supposed to be light and loving really heavy. So I think there's balance on this show that again is reflective of our audience. 

Lainey, Melissa, guest Evangeline Lilly, Traci, Cynthia (Photo: CTV)

TM: Walk me through what a typical workday is like for you.

CL: Right now I get up around seven in the morning, but I've been up already about four or five times in the night. I'm going through a teething phase I guess, since Jaya has two little teeth budding, or maybe it's sleep regression, who knows? I'm officially up at seven when the baby gets up and basically I bring him into the bed, my partner and I will cuddle with him and I'll feed him, and we get a little playtime together, and then I'm out the door an hour and a half after that. I get to work, I get into makeup, and then as soon as I'm done makeup I pump because I'm still breastfeeding. Everyone on our staff knows the sound of the pump, the look of the pump, what I look like when I'm pumping because I've lost all perspective on what is too much! We meet with the producers who tell us what's going to be on the show and we go over the production packs, and later on we get our segment one and two which are more of the newsy things we're going to talk about. I get my hair done, I go to wardrobe at some point, then we go through blocking, I pump again, we talk to producers again and then we pretty much go to air. As soon as the show is done, we either go out on field shoots or sometimes have time in the office, and then I race home to go be with the baby. 

TM: You've been with your partner Jason for more than 13 years, but I read online that you are 'anti-marriage'. Can you elaborate on that?  

CL: It's not that I'm anti-marriage per se. When we first decided that we wanted to have a wedding, I think it was based on this idea of bringing together people in our lives who were important to us and having a celebration. The only way you do that is through a wedding, right? Then we started thinking about who would conduct the ceremony, and I didn't want a stranger doing it. Neither of us were religious so we weren't going to do it in a church. We started looking into getting someone we knew to do it, but it's a big ordeal here. It's a very difficult thing to do in Ontario, so we considered going to City Hall first, or hiring someone just to do the signing of the paperwork, but then we started asking ourselves "Why are we doing this? What does this mean that is different than our current situation? We are common-law, we co-own our house, how does this impact us in any other way? Why are we working so hard to make this fit?" and we realized it wasn't reflective of us. We wanted it to be true to us, we wanted our friend to marry us, we wanted to write our own vows, and we didn't want to sign something that was a legally binding document. It didn't feel romantic, quite frankly. So we just decided to do it our way. We feel that we are just as committed and as 'married' as anyone else who has a legally binding document.

Cynthia and Jason (Photo: Richard Sibbald)

TM: So you did have a ceremony?

CL: We did! We went to The Distillery in Toronto, which is the place where Jason had proposed to me, and also where he had both my engagement ring and band designed by a jeweler who's there. It's an area where we spent a lot of time going to dinners, and it really connected to us so we thought it was an appropriate place. We brought our family and friends together and had a party! 

TM: Your son's name, Jaya, is so unique. How did you choose it?

CL: I found choosing a boy's name really hard. I knew I was having a boy, and Jason works in film and television as well, and he was travelling at the time when I started looking at names, so I was on my own. I came up with a whole list of names like Zachary and Jeremiah. Jason came back and said "These are all so biblical, and that's not really us," so we both started to look at our family names. I'm Italian on one side and German on the other, and he's Malaysian and Hungarian so we started going through websites and we just happened to be looking at a list of Malaysian names and Jaya was there. I'm not sure that it was the same pronunciation we chose {rhymes with Mariah} but that's the way we wanted to pronounce it, and we thought "It sounds like this baby, like our baby", and it immediately clicked as soon as we said it. It means "victory".

Cynthia and Jaya (Photo: Kari Loyst)

TM: How would you complete the sentence "this mom loves..."?

CL: I love red wine. Did I say that ahead of my son? I am in love with my son. I have the total breastfeeding, oxytocin haze where I'm completely in love with my son. I love New Orleans, the hot, sweaty, sexy, down-and-dirty aspects of that whole city, I just love it. Anything MAC. I love my MAC products. And I love a great pair of heels!

Jaya (Photo: Kari Loyst)

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Cynthia was also sweet enough to ask about my girls (she thinks their names are beautiful - and I actually told her their real names, not their blog pseudonyms!) and also asked if parenting is still as daunting when they get to seven and five. My answer: there's always going to be an aspect that's daunting at every phase, but everything gets easier when you can sleep through the night!

Plus, she was willing to give me a quick professional tip that I needed at the time of our interview - which I promise to share with you all if a certain opportunity pans out.

You can find Cynthia and the entire gang at The Social on CTV weekdays at 1:00 pm (check local listings), and on The Social's website. If you can't catch the show live, do what I do: PVR it, and watch while on the treadmill every night. Very motivating!

Cynthia on Twitter: https://twitter.com/cynthialoyst
Cynthia on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cynthialoyst

Thanks for the great chat, Cynthia!