Getting To 50/50: Book Explores Working Families, Marriage and Parenting

"The most important career decision you make is whom you marry." Discuss.

This gem of a quote, among many others, is found in the book Getting To 50/50: How Working Parents Can Have It All by Sharon Meers and Joanna Strober. The book not only argues that women can successfully work outside the home as wives and parents, but offers blueprints for making it happen, whether you're still at the pre-marriage or pre-baby phase, negotiating a return to work, or right in the kids-and-job trenches.

I was jarred by a scene on Grey's Anatomy a couple of weeks ago when Cristina shuts Meredith out of a surgery, and explains after that it's because Meredith's focus has changed as a mother. She's no longer doing as much research or logging as many surgical hours, and therefore isn't as qualified as she could be. (Cristina also points out that there are other mothers who make it work, but they handle parenthood differently.)

Judging by my own reaction to the show, obviously this is still a hot-button issue for many women. "Getting To 50/50" does not for a minute negate the valid choice made by women who leave the work force and stay at home, however it does question the definition of "wanting to" stay home, taking an.interesting look at whether "wanting to" really means that the woman truly didn't wish to remain employed, or if the choice stemmed from the knowledge (stated or implied) that her partner and/or employer would not be able to help make it happen. While one could argue that the onus doesn't need to be placed on the employer, it seems fair that if the father of your children is truly your "partner", he does have an obligation here. ("Women Don't Quit Because They Want To" is the title of an entire section)

The book also debunks many myths, widely believed by some parents, which put undue pressure and guilt on a woman to stay home when perhaps she would prefer to continue working, and readers can take away some good responses to use with their partner (or parent, or any judgmental person) who has concerns or spouts inaccurate research: "Actually, honey, studies have shown that children in daycare fare just as well in all areas as those who stay home with a parent," might be good for starters.

Sheryl Sandberg wrote the forward to "Getting To 50/50", which she says she "devoured", as I did her book "Lean In" - in fact, I went on a blitz last year at school where I started several conversations and emails with my principal with the phrase "So, I'm leaning in right now...."

In terms of my personal experience, it's a bit different here in Canada when we get 12 months of maternity/parental leave, so by the time I returned to work (there was never a question that I would) my girls were eating solid foods and sleeping through the night, which is such a luxury for working parents. I could really relate to this quote from "Getting To 50/50":  “'I wish you could show younger women just how good things look once you make it up the steep incline,' a female entrepreneur told us. 'When they’re halfway up the hill, all they see is a tough slog and they don’t realize how much easier it gets once you gain some altitude. The hill flattens out and you’ve got a great view.'” At 5 and 7 my girls are so independent (this year's goal - achieved - was to get them packing their own lunches at night) - and while new time commitments (homework, extracurricular activities) arise as kids grow, they just don't come with the same physical demands as being sleep-deprived, and the current challenges don't have have the same impact on my work the next day.

"Getting To 50/50" shares tons of research, both hard data and anecdotal stories, and keeps the right balance of entertainment and education (it's not light and fluffy, but it's also not a textbook. Though it would be a great addition to many a syllabus). Over 1100 moms were interviewed, which means a range of perspectives are presented. Other tidbits of learning I gained from the book (or learned about myself while reading):

• Couples who split breadwinner/housework roles have a divorce rate 51% below the average

• "If you want your husband’s company in the odyssey of child rearing, you have to value his parenting views as much as your own." This means that I have to accept that all of the play and silliness my husband engages in with our girls is just as important as the task-master parenting duties I take on. (We do cross into each other's zones sometimes.) I also have to relax about things being done a certain way if I want my husband to feel fully comfortable with parenting duties...still a work in progress after almost 8 years.

• "Success Does Not Require 24/7". Enough said? If not, there's a whole chapter on it. 

• Having it all might mean changing your definition of "all". I love my family and my job(s), and to stay sane I have abandoned the notions of nightly homecooked meals and yearly homemade Halloween costumes. Though it took a while, I also got my husband onto the idea of "outsourcing", which recently included hiring someone to look after some fall yardwork.

I've written before about my mom and how she inspires me to have it all. She took a few years off from teaching when we were young, and while my brother and I were kept completely oblivious to the fact that she was going stir-crazy at home (especially once we were both full-time in school), I will never forget the expression on her face, light in her eyes and tone of her voice when she went to the kitchen phone to take the superintendent's call offering her a classroom again. "Are you serious?" was her excited reply, and whether I processed it or not then, I knew very well that my mother loved us AND loved her work, something that has certainly molded my whole idea of being a working parent. (Even in her retirement, she's still tutoring and volunteering in schools.)

Some final introspection: while education is a very female-friendly field of work, I have to admit that I do feel like one of the reasons I haven't pursued "advancement" in my career (by which I mean going into Vice Principal/Principalship) is because I don't think I could take on that sort of change - or even complete the qualifications I would need to get first - and still keep my home running the way I want it to. Sure, the fact that my husband recently began a new role as Vice Principal has something to do with that, but I know I would have his support if I decided I wanted to head down that path. I also haven't quite decided if it's a job that I would want anyway, as I don't think I would be able to make that jump and still keep up with my writing career, so I try to consider of all of the opportunities that come with my freelance/blogging work as "advancement", and a supplement to my very rewarding role as a classroom teacher. This book got me thinking about what I really want when it comes to my career/family balance, and I've been reflecting more on the decisions I've made, and will have to make in the future.

"Getting To 50/50" is an absolutely fascinating read no matter your perspective, but I would recommend it especially if you are finding the 50/50 goal desirable but elusive and want to learn more.

If you'd like to win your own copy of "Getting To 50/50", simply leave a comment below and make sure there's a way for me to contact you if you are the winner! (Giveaway ends Thursday, November 28th at 11:59 pm.)

Las Vegas Part II: Shania Twain - Still The One

Click here to catch up on Las Vegas Part I: Tim McGraw/Faith Hill Soul2Soul.

Our second morning in Vegas found us shopping again! This time we tried out the Las Vegas Premium Outlets (North - there's also a South) which was about a ten minute cab ride. (Buses are a popular option, but since we were splitting rides four ways, we splurged for a few taxis and didn't bother to figure out the public transit system).

I didn't do a lot of shopping there, other than new sweatpants and hoodie from Gap (which will do double duty as treadmill wear and pyjamas...the first thing I do when I get in the door after school is put on a sweatsuit and pull my hair into a ponytail!) There was a Kate Spade outlet as well, with 50% off tons of bags...too bad I splurged at her store in the mall the day before!

Next on the agenda was the Titanic Artifact Museum at the Luxor Hotel. We found a coupon in our hotel brochure to get $10 off the $32 admission, and it was definitely worth what we paid to see so much history: over 250 authentic artifacts from the wreck site of the Titanic, plus extensive recreations of some of the most famous rooms on the ship (you can see us below, on the grand staircase!)

That night, we decided we couldn't leave Vegas without trying one of the buffets, so after a bit of research we headed for the Bacchanal at Caesar's Palace (convenient since our show for that night was located in the same Casino). The Bacchanal has been voted the #1 buffet in Vegas by various different outlets, and it definitely lived up to its reputation...though I'm not sure that it's possible for me to consume $50 worth of food in one sitting. The prime rib (traditionally my favourite anywhere I go) was fantastic, and it's always fun for a picky eater like me to be able to try small portions of different foods. Oh, and who am I kidding about the fifty bucks...I think my dessert plates (yes, that's plural) alone would total more than that!

So...what show did we see that night? Well, as I've said before, we're Canadian and from the country...which means of course we couldn't miss our girl, Shania!

I enjoyed seeing some of Shania's most famous outfits on display

We were two for two with another great concert that night. While the Colosseum is a fairly large venue, Shania still made some trips out into the audience, shaking hands, accepting hugs, and signing books (as she did for my SIL - see photo below!) She also invited selected audience members onstage for a campfire/singalong late in the show. (One lucky invitee proudly showed her the "Shania's autograph tattoo" on his arm, to which she replied "Oh...I wonder what your mother thinks of that!")

Our seats were fantastic (the front of the second section), but just as with the concert the night before, I was trying to be a good girl and follow the no-photos rules (they seemed much stricter about that at this venue) - though we did notice Shania's hubby Fred out in the aisles capturing some moments with his camera!

"Still The One" is a big production (the difference between Tim/Faith and Shania reminds me very much of the distinction between Garth Brooks/Céline Dion two years ago) as this show includes more set and costume changes, backup singers (including her sister Carrie Ann), dancers, screens and special effects. She played all of her biggest hits plus a song she wrote more recently, and we were able to sing along with pretty much everything. The ticket price was definitely money well-spent.

On the way back to the hotel we stopped to check out the beautiful fountain show at the Bellagio, and while we had intended to grab a cab somewhere along the line, we ended up enjoying our last stroll up the Strip to our hotel, where our heads were pretty quick to hit the pillows.

While I had expected it to be a whirlwind of a trip (and we did accomplish an awful lot), a long weekend is more than enough to get a great taste of Vegas, and I'm glad we went down with show tickets booked, but lots of room to go with the flow and not be rushing from one event or location to the next.

If anyone has any questions, please feel free to leave them here, or contact me directly - I'm always happy to help with trip planning!

Must-Read Books For Grownups and Kids

Here are the latest titles I'm recommending (and in case you're new here, if I don't like a book I read - whether I've purchased it or received it from a publisher for review - it doesn't make the cut. This blog is about the things I love!)

The Empty Room by Lauren B. Davis

This fictional work follows a day in the life of an alcoholic, with frequent glimpses back into her past. Every time I put it down I couldn't wait to pick it back up again. The way I worded it on Twitter was that I can't relate to alcoholism, but I certainly feel like I have a far better understanding of it now, after reading this book. Plus, Davis is a Canadian-born writer (award-winning, in case that matters to you).

How To Be An Everyday Philanthropist by Nicole Bouchard Boles 

This book for adults has tons of fantastic philanthropic ideas, and only a small section of them involving your cash. It's divided into sections such as "Use Your Body", "Use Your Family", "Use Your Time", "Use Your Trash", etc.

There are many tips in here that my family and I already do, but I picked up some new gems, such as writing letters to ill children. The book is American, but I'd love to find out if there is a system for doing this in Canada. I also decided that I need to start giving blood again - before I had kids I donated blood at least 20 times, and then just stopped and never got back into it, so I have the next local clinic date written in my calendar. Tons of ideas to suit a range of ages, talents, and incomes.

Talk With Your Kids by Michael Parker, M. Ed.

The format of this book is amazing: a great introduction, followed by 109 topics, about 2 pages each, with ready-to-use questions to spark discussions with your children (or students). My "kids" (home and school) are too young, as it's recommended for ages 10-15 but will definitely be holding on to it to use with my daughters or if I ever teach an older grade. Topics include: Music Downloads, Sports, What Is Cheating At School?, Is It Ever Okay To Lie?, Should We Cage Animals?, Housework, Online Etiquette, Making Promises...the list goes on. I can't wait to use the book as a springboard for talking about some of these sensitive and/or controversial topics at home.

David and Goliath: The Brick Bible For Kids  by Brendan Powell Smith

"Brick" means Lego (I'm assuming the author couldn't use the trademarked word) and this book is full of Lego-built illustrations depicting the David and Goliath Bible story. My students loved this book, and the boys especially are eager to reread (and get a closer look at the pictures). It does mention the cutting-off-of-the-head, which some parents may not be comfortable with, but if your child is already familiar with the Old Testament, that detail will be nothing new. The author has also recreated Noah's Ark and The Christmas Story in the same way...I'd love to add those books to my classroom library as well!

What's Bugging Nurse Penny? A Story About Lice by Catherine Stier, Illustrated by Suzanne Beaky

While I will not delve into personal stories about lice at the present moment (I may get there someday), young kids need to know about lice: how it's transmitted (in order to prevent it) and that it has nothing to do with their cleanliness. (Parents need to know this too - and here are so many misconceptions and so much misinformation out there as well...not that I've done a lot of research on it or anything. I've just...heard from a friend.)

This book covers the facts in an entertaining way, and my students really enjoyed listening to the story and asking questions afterwards.

Disclosure: I was provided with some of the above books for review purposes. Opinions are, as always, my own.

Las Vegas Part I: Tim McGraw/Faith Hill Soul2Soul

After two months of excited planning, my husband's three sisters and I finally made it to Las Vegas!

We turned it into a long weekend, flying out of Toronto on the Friday night and back on the Monday afternoon (I would like to make it very clear to the Ontario taxpayers - especially those whose children I teach - that I requested an UNPAID day off from work).

The dates were picked based on the shows we wanted to see (you can take the girls out of the country, but...) and other than that, we decided to just go with the flow once we arrived.

My Dad chauffeured us to the airport, and with check-in kiosks available and only carry on luggage, the whole process was smooth sailing. Upon our arrival in Vegas, we cabbed it to our hotel - we chose the Excalibur, based more on the fact that it was the most reasonable Strip hotel we could find with an Expedia package than anything else - and went to bed right away, since 11 pm Vegas time felt like 2 am to us. (And if you know me, you know that 2 am is WAY past my bedtime. Even in Vegas!)

Excalibur

On Saturday, we headed up the Strip (the Excalibur is at the south end of the action, so we headed north) and ate at the Hard Rock Café (isn't it a rule that tourists must enjoy the Hard Rock in every city?) At $8.95, their farmers' breakfast was reasonably priced and filling enough to call "brunch".

Once we were fueled up and energized, we were ready to shop. While Vegas has unlimited options for those with unlimited budgets, the closest thing to a back-home "mall" is the Fashion Show Mall, where we spent several hours both browsing and buying. (Keeping in mind that we didn't bring any checked luggage. Two of my SIL's were clever enough to bring empty backpacks as their second carry on item, to fill with their Vegas shopping finds!)

My purchases?

A Kate Spade 2014 planner: (Yes, I still insist on planning on paper, and I love that it includes the fall of 2013 so I can start using it now)

and a small Kate Spade purse: (I've been looking for a little cross-body item that I can use when I don't want to lug around a big purse, and I love how it came with a snap-off strap so it can be used as a clutch as well)

I didn't want to go crazy with souvenirs for my girls, so I just went to Build-A-Bear and picked up a Las Vegas tee and a pair of undies for each girl's bear.

As we continued up the Strip, look who we ran into:

There's so much to see on Las Vegas Blvd, and you don't even have to enter the hotels/casinos to appreciate what they have to offer:

We stopped by the Venetian to pick up our Tim McGraw/Faith Hill Soul2Soul show shirts. There's nothing like some merchandise to get you in the mood for a performance!

After freshening up back at the hotel, we returned to the Venetian for a casual dinner at the Grand Lux Café (fettuccine alfredo and Hershey cheesecake...yum! Oh, and Diet Coke. Sorry to disappoint.) We also took a stroll through the gorgeous promenade area along the indoor "canal", where you can easily be fooled into believing that you're taking a leisurely outdoor walk in Venice (you can even pay for the gondola rides).

Okay. Soul2Soul time. Now I have to attempt to put the concert into words. I'd like to think I'm a fairly cool customer when it comes to stars. I've done many celebrity interviews, and haven't yet turned into a giggling idiot. Nor am I any sort of crazy Tim and Faith fan - I have a couple of their old CDs, and our wedding dance was to Faith's "Breathe", but whatever. They're talented, they're attractive, no big deal.

Yeah, this show was a big deal. The Venetian Theatre is an intimate setting to begin with, seating 1815 visitors (similar to the capacity of the Encore Theatre at the Wynn, where my husband and I saw Garth Brooks perform two years ago).

The opening was amazing: the singers entered from the sides of the theatre and crossed in the aisle right in front of our seats, shaking hands and saying hello while they sang their first song, before proceeding up the side aisles to the stage.

The thing is, when Tim McGraw shakes your hand in the middle of a performance, one can forget for a moment that one is a 36 year old professional woman and a married mother of two. (Over dinner, one SIL had remarked "Tim is really talented and everything, but I've never found him that attractive." An hour later, when asked if she stood by that opinion, her story changed significantly. I would tell you what she said, but it wouldn't be appropriate in print.)

"Intimate" is definitely the word for the show, not only because of the sparks between the husband and wife, but also the contact and interaction with the crowd. It was the best concert atmosphere I've ever seen (and Garth has held that title for the past two years).

I didn't think things could get any better than the opening act, but I loved almost everything about the show. The music was fantastic: each artist performed some of their solo hits (classics and more recent tunes) and of course most of their duets. While "It's Your Love" is a great song (I always loved the video for that one, starring a very pregnant Faith), my favourite was "Like We Never Loved At All."

The venue makes it clear that taking pictures is prohibited (and I totally get that there should be no videos of a show like this) but when Tim came right out and said "This bow tie is driving me crazy, so take all the pictures you want now, because this shit's coming off soon!" my camera was out and ready. (I wished I hadn't been such a rule-follower and had it ready at the start of the show. I know the girls behind us were taking pictures then, so if anyone out there has shots of us shaking the performers' hands, please let me know!)

(Side note: Tim said he wore the tux to emulate George Clooney and impress Faith, who responded appropriately that he's even better looking than George.)

The second time Tim made the rounds of the theatre, I managed to get these shots, again right in front of where we were sitting (the centre section of row AA is the best spot, if you're thinking of buying tickets):

The couple did some off-the-cuff (or rehearsed but appearing to be off-the-cuff) chatting while on stage, and in fact, I would have liked for them to have talked a bit more (that's the only thing I would say I preferred about Garth's) as I am genuinely interested in getting to know the performers better and hearing the stories behind the songs and even their lives in general. (Though I'm sure there are some music fans out there who just want to hear songs, so I realize it's a delicate balance.)

After the show, my adrenaline was high, and it took a while to come back down... but of course my bedtime beckoned again (darn time zone difference)!

We were off to a terrific start in Vegas...stay tuned for Part II!

School Roundup: October 2013

It's been a busy month in the Grade 3 class, and at our school! Some highlights from October:

Cross Country

I usually hit the ground running (literally) at the start of the year, coaching our school's Cross Country team. We started the month of October taking our team of 85 students to our Family of Schools meet...where we placed first! This is a big deal for us, as we are a small rural school and very rarely get the gold at sporting events, so we were pretty pumped. This was Frannie's first year participating, and she brought home a silver medal.

Science: Grassy Guys

The Grade 3 Science curriculum in Ontario includes a study of Growth and Changes in Plants, but rather than a more simple bean-seed-in-a-cup experiment, I like to use an idea I found in an old book (What Shall I Grow?) where the kids plant grass seeds in an old sock, and decorate the face with buttons to create their own "Grassy Guy". They love to see the "hair" grow in, and to trim it and give their guy some style.

This poor guy is just starting to sprout some hair!

Writing: Procedural and Descriptive

We are very lucky to currently have a class set of laptops in the room right now, thanks to a pilot project I applied for last year, and the kids use them for almost all of their writing projects.

For procedural writing this month, they were assigned a paragraph giving instructions on how to get ready for school in the morning.

For a descriptive writing piece, students brought in a photo of a recent Halloween costume, and tried to describe it using as many senses as possible. This makes for a great hall display as passers-by are drawn in by the photographs. I also like to have writing pieces up during times of the year when parents will be in (we have progress report interviews in a couple of weeks) so parents can get a clear sense of how their child's writing compares to their peers. It's often difficult to tell whether your child is ahead, behind, or right where he/she should be without anything to compare their work to.

Read-Aloud

I'm currently reading "James and the Giant Peach" by Roald Dahl. The kids just love his work, and this one brings back memories as I used it in one of my very first ConEd teaching placements. (Available at Chapters.)

Art: Frankenstein Monsters

Another Pinterest find, the kids love this cut-paper task, perfectly timed to go up in the hall the week before Halloween.

Original pin: http://www.pinterest.com/pin/175288610467825793/

Flying Through Space Art

Yes, found on Pinterest, for this one the kids trace their hands and feet, and then add in the other body parts, trying to make it look like they are in a seated position flying (or perhaps floating would be a better word) through space.

Original pin: http://www.pinterest.com/pin/175288610469442109/

Food Drive/Staff Dodgeball Game

Right before Thanksgiving, my Leaders Today group organized a staff vs staff dodgeball game, and students had to bring in non-perishable food items in order to gain admission. We collected almost 250 items for our local Food Bank, which was a lovely way to head in to the Thanksgiving weekend. (And the dodgeball game was a blast...I only wish someone had taken photos that I could share with you...and you would not believe how sore I was afterwards!)

Halloween

To wrap up the month, a look at Mrs. Winn's Halloween costume (the only "rated G" Wonder Woman attire I could find!):

Have a great November, everyone!

*** Please note, when any student's work is identifiable I do ask permission from the parents to show it here. ***

Mom/Daughter Bonding at Pretty In Pink Spa Studio, Oakville

I receive a LOT of press releases and information from PR reps every day, and the correspondence really has to stand out just to get me to read it, let alone respond with interest. When information on Pretty In Pink Spa Studio in Oakville hit my inbox, I was intrigued. It was titled "Spending time bonding builds self-esteem in children", and the email went on to outline how Pretty In Pink is the place for moms and daughters to spend some uninterrupted time together. Sure, it's a spa, but the release didn't push the beauty angle, instead focusing on the parent/child relationship, which I actually thought was brilliant marketing. I made an appointment right away for Frannie and I to check it out.

Despite the great info I had received, I was still a bit worried before the visit about how the Spa Studio would fit with the values I want to instill in my girls. I want them to know that it's important to take care of yourself and look your best, while always remembering that what's on the outside has little importance compared to who you are on the inside. I also want them to feel like it's fine to seek out and enjoy occasional pampering, but one never wants to earn the label "pampered child" - or worse, "pampered adult"!

My worries were completely unnecessary, because owner Sonia and her team absolutely nailed it.

Our drive was two hours, and while at first I wondered if I was crazy to spend that much time on the road, it really did support the goal of bonding with my daughter, as being in the car seems to spur conversation, and she confided quite a bit to be during the drive.

When we arrived at Pretty in Pink, we were greeted warmly and provided with a tour of the bright and clean spa, which was designed two years ago to serve a young clientele after Sonia realized she could address a need in the market. Her philosophy is that "a relaxing and age-appropriate spa environment, free from the unrealistic ideals that girls encounter daily in social media and advertising, can build confidence and encourage a process of healthy self-discovery".

While adult services were not originally on the menu when the spa opened, mom after mom would bring her daughter and ask Sonia "What about me?", which led to the expansion of services to meet the mothers' needs as well.

Behind the inviting storefront.there are two spacious rooms for parties (they can accommodate up to 15 young guests), with treatment areas sized just right for little spa-goers - meaning, they can actually reach the foot bowls! - as well as a small treatment room (with two beds for mother/daughter or friend treatments; one bed is removed for solo services) where Frannie and I were treated to facials to begin our spa experience. Frannie, all decked out in a cozy pink robe, received a chocolate facial, with the yummy stuff painted right on her face (it's edible, just in case!) I took an adorable photo of her covered in chocolate, but she was adamant that I not show that one on the blog so I am respecting her wishes.

During my facial, I didn't have to worry about asking any questions, as Frannie had it covered. Where do you get your products? (They're handmade in Hungary) What's in them? (Organic ingredients like acai berry juice, coconut water and shea butter) What happens if you run out? (We order more!)

I received the "Express Facial", with products targeted to meet my needs, and I confided that I'd like a bit of help with the signs of aging, so head esthetician Lucy used Eminence products like Firm Skin Acai Cleanser and Neroli Age Corrective Eye Serum

Frannie's facial ended with a mini massage, which she really loved. "I'm going to teach this to my friends at school!", she enthused.

Next, we moved to the manicure station. Frannie was asked what kind of music she likes and within seconds Taylor Swift was serenading us as our nails were tended to. My mani actually turned out very well with regular polish (instead of my usual gel), and in case you're curious, their nail polishes are free of DBP, formaldehyde and toluene. Sonia thinks of all the details: we received fancy glasses with pink lemonade, and there was a chocolate cupcake waiting for Frannie at the end of her bright-red-with-silver-sparkles mani.

The birthday parties and camps that Pretty In Pink offers include beauty treatments, of course, but I was pleased to see that there's so much more to them than that, like arts and crafts, music and drama. Even the questions the ladies were asking Frannie were right on, chatting about her friends, hobbies and Halloween plans. Other than asking her to select her nail colour, there really wasn't a focus on appearances at all, and the "beauty tips" she received were age-appropriate: Drink lots of water and wash your face twice a day. (When tucking her in that night, Frannie jumped out of bed and said "Wait a minute; I'll be right back! Lucy said to wash my face twice a day!")

The inspirational wall behind the pedicure station offers great tidbits for the girls too, like "No one is perfect, that is why pencils have erasers."
.

While we certainly received the royal treatment while there, I usually have a good instinct for when something is being staged for the sake of my "media" status, and that radar did not go off at all. I really believe that any little girl (or big girl!) who visits Pretty In Pink will leave feeling just as special.

Frannie with Spa Party coordinator Megan, Head Esthetician Lucy and owner Sonia

On the way out (after the requisite picture-taking, of course) I had to stop and pick up a "Feeling Smitten Cupcake Bath Bomb" (one of Oprah's Favourite Things, don't you know?) from the display case as a birthday gift for a friend. (Even if you're not interested in the services, you may want to check out the shop: from kids' robes to loot bag goodies to organic spa products for adults, they have it all. I'm particularly interested in a natural deodorant they carry for tweens and teens, but we're not quite ready for that yet.)

When reviewing products and services, I really like to get feedback from my kids as well, and Frannie doesn't hesitate to share hers. The funny thing is, all of the things she "didn't like" about this experience were actually positives! "I wish we could have stayed longer and done more things!", "I don't like how you said we can't come back for their Zombie Halloween Party!" My two negatives: the fact that it's way too far for us to visit on any regular basis ("Hey, you're invited to Frannie's birthday party; meet you in Oakville!" wouldn't really fly) and...I could really have gone for one of those post-mani chocolate cupcakes myself!

More information about Pretty In Pink Spa Studio, including pricing, can be found on their website. The parties start at $290, which I know is more than some of my readers want (or are able) to spend on a fete, but I have no doubt that there is an abundance of interested clientele out there. Sonia takes care of everything from the invitations to the food, and because of her daughter's celiac disease, she is very conscious of dietary needs, and can provide organic and allergen-free products upon request.

The visit certainly spurred Frannie's imagination as well, as I walked in the bathroom the next morning to find her and her sister playing "spa" with the dolls:

While discussing the birthday party packages offered at Pretty In Pink, Sonia had mentioned using "The Melt", a grilled cheese bar in the same plaza, to provide the food, so after our visit we walked down there for a fantastic lunch.

As we headed back to the car, Frannie looked at me, completely unprompted, and said "Mommy, that was the most awesome day ever, and I loved getting all of those things done, but do you know what the best part was? Spending all that time with you!" With tears in my eyes, I agreed.

Disclosure: Frannie and I received the services described above for review purposes. Opinions are, as always, our own.

Kids Colouring Their Hair: Need Parent Input For Article

I'm working on an article for a national magazine about kids roughly between the ages of 9 - 11 colouring their hair (girls or boys), and I'd love to speak to some parents about it.

-Did you allow your child to get highlights/colour/bleach?
-Does your child want to but you're saying no?

If either of those describes you, and you'd be willing to speak with me (or answer a few questions over e-mail) please leave a comment below or send me an email at katewinn77 at yahoo dot ca. I look forward to hearing a range of viewpoints on this subject!

Taking the Laser Eye Surgery Plunge

I got glasses in Grade 3. The first ones were a cute little blue-framed pair. Then I guess I developed some "go big or go home" attitude, and ended up with what could very kindly be referred to as an "oversized" pair of black-rimmed beauties for several years.

By Grade 8, I was desperate to get contact lenses, and with my parents' support, I went ahead. The only snag: the optometrist wouldn't let me take them home until I demonstrated - in front of him - the ability to insert and remove them independently. Yeah, that was a problem.

Fortunately my uncle was engaged to a wonderful lady who was willing to help me out with this task (since my parents were too squeamish!) and actually allowed me to practice with her contacts...and her eyes! A bit above and beyond the call of duty of a soon-to-be-aunt, but it worked, and I ditched the glasses soon after. (Thanks, Aunt Lise!)

When I say ditched them, I can't use the term "literally" as of course I did not throw them into a ditch, but close enough. I don't believe I was ever seen in glasses at high school, university or teacher's college, and last year (my 13th year teaching) I wore them one day for the FIRST TIME. Sure, vanity plays a huge role. I don't like the way I look (note that I said "I", tons of people look amazing) in glasses. But there's something about wearing them that makes me feel...underdressed. If that makes sense. Because glasses have always been my ready-for-bed or just-got-up reality, and I don't feel polished and presentable with them on...kinda like being in pj's. And since the 90's jumbo-size pair is long-gone and a smaller, more stylish Coach version currently in its place, I also feel like I'm only seeing a small piece of the world, as my peripheral (and above, and below) vision is blurry while wearing glasses. (I'm pretty blind without a prescription.) Plus, there are all of the other glass-wearer issues - rain, fogging up indoors, what to do during vigorous sporting activities...of course that one's a joke.

The world of contacts and their related paraphernalia has been my reality for 23 years now (quick, do the math) and I don't really complain about it too much. In the past, people have suggested laser eye surgery, but I didn't want to lay out that kind of payment for something that I didn't think I desperately needed. However, a few years ago our benefits changed, and I'm now eligible to have the surgery covered.

My mom had it done a few years ago, and my brother and his wife just this year...and they all rave about it, and the freedom from contacts, glasses and their accessories. I have to admit, I can't imagine traveling without having to pack those things up, and when I go away for more than a night I even try to remember a spare pair of contacts, because heaven forbid I need to put on my glasses while out and about on vacation!

A couple of weekends ago over dinner, my family finally convinced me, and I went on the LasikMD website to book a free consultation. They have an office located in Whitby for pre-surgery consults, and I was able to make an appointment for the following Saturday.

The whole thing took almost two hours, because they had to dilate my pupils to get the full picture, but the bottom line was that I am a candidate (I have to go with the "Advanced Custom Wavefront" procedure - where less corneal tissue is removed - since my prescription is too high to go the "standard" route). I thought it was a bit convenient that they asked about my benefits coverage in advance, and the total ended up being pretty much right on the amount I'm covered for, but I guess what do I care, as long as it's paid for? My package also includes a lifetime vision enhancement plan, so that I can get free "touchups" if anything should change with my prescription in the future.

I booked my surgery before even leaving the office (I went with the North York clinic, since it's the closest), choosing a Friday to limit the time I'll need to be off work (I should be more than ready to get back at it on Monday).

My particular surgeon has performed over 30,000 procedures, plus he's had LASIK himself, so I figure it's pretty safe to call him an "expert", which is comforting.

The fact that they asked me to remove my contacts a week before the surgery just may be my biggest challenge, but I will forego my vanity for seven days, as I think the results will be more than worth it.

I can't even imagine being able to see the alarm clock without picking it up and bringing it to my nose! Think about the seconds of sleep saved! As well as the additional perk of less clutter in my dresser drawer - lens cases, glass cleaning solution, etc,

Anyway, wish me luck! I'd love to hear about anyone's experiences with Laser Eye surgery (well, maybe not any one -in-a-million scare stories) and any tips you might have for the day of or afterwards. I'll be sure to update you after the big day!