Am I Normal? Wait, Don't Answer That...

This is not meant to be humorous. Now, if my self-deprecation amuses you a little bit, that's an acceptable by-product, but I am actually dead serious.

I have had people remark (especially after seeing my home or classroom) that I seem to have it all together. And while I know that is of course untrue, I've been okay with that misperception being out there.

But you know how some stars will show themselves without makeup to prove that they're just like us? Well, here I am without makeup. So to speak. (I don't think there is a great need out there for me to prove that I'm not always red-carpet ready from head to toe. My physical have-it-togetherness doesn't seem to spark as much discussion.)

Deep breath...here it is:

If you don't get the point, then you may not know me very well, or perhaps you're all set to answer the title question in the (h - - -,  no!)  negative.

You see, these are photos of my daughters' rooms. And this isn't a "ha ha, kids cause clutter" kind of moment. Instead, I am going out on a limb and sharing with you that when I walk in each of their doors, my blood pressure spikes and my heart races. I'm really not kidding.

At this point in life, despite my (or perhaps because of my) neat-freak role modelling, Frannie is clearly a hoarder. I used to think that Maggie was more like me, however this is what her room now looks like, thanks to her birthday haul:

I'm sure there are moms out there who could not care less about such things. However, even at work, when somehow my mind drifts to the state of my daughters' rooms, it stresses me out.

Why don't I just clean them? Well, here's the thing: I can remember reaching a point as a child (and I wish I had an age reference to help me out) when my parents no longer touched my room, and in fact did not enter without permission. That said, I was obsessive-compulsive about clutter from an early age, so it was probably easy for them to relinquish that control.

I want my girls to have the same privacy and ownership of their space and "stuff" that I valued as a child, but at this point I can't get it to surpass my (excessive?) need for order in my home.

I cannot wait for summer holidays to start next week, when we will have the time to devote to the sorting, storing and donation of toys. (I'm thinking a movie afternoon may be the carrot I need to dangle to get the girls feeling energized and generous enough to be of assistance here.)

There was once a blogger who wrote about letting go of her need to keep the toys sorted, and that perhaps it infringed on her child's creativity. My (convenient) theory is: if the Littlest Pet Shop animals want to have tea with the little rubber Princesses, or the Barbies and Strawberry Shortcake are remote-control-car cruising together, that's fine by me. As long as they all go back to their own homes at night like civilized people do. (This isn't the place to discuss exceptions to that rule.)

By the way, why do kids have so much freakin' STUFF anyway? I would swear on a bible that we do not spoil our girls with material goods...but between Santa, two sets of grandparents, and more aunts and uncles than they can count, even Christmas and birthday gifts accumulate pretty quickly. I've heard of philanthropic little children who give away their presents, or ask for donations to charity...but if your child isn't suggesting that, wouldn't it be mean to put it on her? What sorts of gifts can be requested that actually make kids happy (as the giver always wants the gift to be well-received) but don't just end up in the pile with all the rest? (Note to Frannie's future gift-givers: Cineplex gift cards will be a huge hit. She does take after her mother in that regard.)

Oh, and if you have any tips or suggestions for what to do with the accumulation of Frannie's first year of school products, I would LOVE to hear them. I want to save the really few important pieces, and sneak the rest into the recycling, but I know there are cool ideas out there for amalgamating such things.

(On a related note, as a teacher, I would like to humbly say to every parent of every student I ever sent home with a whole bunch of crap: I'm sorry. But it had to be done.)

I know when people have two storey homes, it's easier to just let the kids' rooms be as they are, but guests at our bungalow frequently walk down the bedroom hallway where they can be affronted by the mess...and just closing the doors makes the hall too dark and suspicious looking.

So, am I the only one with these issues? Are others just mildly annoyed by (or oblivious to) clutter, or do some of you share my physical and mental reactions to all of the "stuff"? When do you start allowing your kids to have responsibility? I know I am teaching them all sorts of organizational skills which will benefit them in the future...but am I stifling them by choosing the "hows" and "wheres" of their systems, and passing along my own slightly unhealthy practices?

HELP ME!!!

Kids Books: Anastasia's Newest Picks

My nine year old niece "Anastasia" (her self-chosen pseudonym) has both the honour and the responsibility of reading and reviewing books that come my way which are geared to kids in her age bracket. Here she shares a few of her recent favourites:

Bless This Mouse by Lois Lowry

Summary: Hildegarde, a mouse, sent all of the mice to the church cemetery in fear of the Great X. However, Hildegarde figures out  a way to stop it from happening. When they enter the church, the blessing of the animals has begun and Hildegarde, after saving a friend, gets saved as well.

Favourite Part: I liked the part when Hildegarde is blessed by the priest.

Non-Favourite Part: I did not like when the mouse friend is trapped! It was scary!

Age group: I think this book is for 7 to 11 year olds.

(This Mom's note: Who doesn't love Lois Lowry? Sure, she's written some classics, but when I was a kid I devoured her Anastasia series. I bought them with my own money and read them over and over. They rank right up there for me with The Babysitters' Club, Nancy Drew Files, and Sweet Valley High.)


World Without Fish by Mark Kurlansky

World Without Fish is abook that inspired me to help stop overfishing and pollution as much as I could. It gives a detailed look at what could happen if we stop caring for our planet. I recommend this book for kids 10 and up. If you care about our planet, then World Without Fish is perfect for you!

From the publisher: Written by a master storyteller, World Without Fish connects all the dots—biology, economics, evolution, politics, climate, history, culture, food, and nutrition—in a way that kids can really understand.

World Without Fish tells kids exactly what they can do: Find out where those fish sticks come from. Tell your parents what’s good to buy, and what’s not. Ask the waiter if the fish on the menu is line-caught. And follow simple rules: Use less plastic, and never eat endangered fish like bluefin tuna.

Trouble at the Zoo and Rescue! (Bindi Wildlife Adventures) 

(These titles are from a new series based on the fictional adventures of Bindi Irwin, daughter of the late wildlife expert Steve Irwin.)

Says Anastasia: "Trouble at the Zoo" teaches us that sometimes what you want isn't best for everyone. A teenage boy tries to steal a Komodo dragon from the zoo! However Bindi catches him and uses her parrot to retrieve it. Zac realizes that he would npot be able to care for the Komodo dragon and apologizes. This book is for kids aged 7-8.

In "Rescue!", Bindi goes to Africa and discovers tha the place she is staying is where tourists hunt big game! It teaches us that you shouldn't be dishonest, and the person who owned the park was caught. This book is also for 7 and 8 year olds.

Rebecca's Rashness (Book 7 in the series called "The Sisters Eight") by Lauren Baratz-Logsted

I thoroughly enjoyed this book. Rebecca's time has come! She is to receive her power! If you like magic, friendship and wisdom then this book is just right for you. I liked when Rebecca received her power. This book is for 8-10 year olds.

And finally...

Catch the Wind, Harness the Sun: 22 Super-Charged Projects For Kids by Michael J. Caduto

This book teaches that there are many ways to destroy and save the earth, and you are a part of it. You can destroy the earth or save it. Of course, the book encourages you to save it, because it includes 22 science projects to help save the earth, and is packed with ways to avoid our earth being destroyed. I tried an experiment myself and loved it! This book is for 8-13 year olds.

Thanks, Anastasia! Always a pleasure to have my talented niece sharing her thoughts here on my blog.

Great Canadian Blog Bash and a Hallmark Giveaway!

Perhaps I'm biased, but I feel confident saying that Canada is the best country in the world. I enjoy visiting elsewhere (the sunny south, or incredible New York City, for example) but I could never imagine living anywhere else.

As a teacher, I am well aware that many of our systems (e.g. education, health care) are models which other countries strive to follow...or should! How lucky we are to be able to enjoy such a high standard of living and offer it to  our children!

I appreciate the beauty of the four seasons...although one season I enjoy much better from the inside looking out. Where better to enjoy a fire, a hot tub, or a steaming mug of hot chocolate than right here in Canada?

I'm also proud of our Canadian talent, particularly the moms I've had the opportunity to speak with for my Momterview feature. Click here to read my interviews with Canadian celebs like Dr. Marla Shapiro, Debbie Travis, Tracy Moore, Marci Ien, Sarah Richardson, Hayley Wickenheiser, Jamie Sale, Laurie Gelman and Jessica Holmes. (This has been my absolute favourite part of blogging, in case you couldn't tell.)

So, welcome to my Canadian blog. I come with the perspective of a teacher and freelance writer, as well as a mom to two girls (ages 5 and 3). I blog about parenting and education, offer reviews and giveaways, and sometimes just editorialize...which is the luxury of being your own editor! See the sidebar if you'd like to follow through GFC or Twitter or subscribe through e-mail to catch all the action.

To celebrate the Great Canadian Blog Bash, and since I'm a member of their Press Pause Panel, Hallmark Canada agreed to give away a fantastic prize to one lucky Canadian reader: their recordable "Life Makes the Best Story" picture frame.

It comes in a wood finish, large enough to hold a 4 x 6 photo, and the best part is that you can record a 10 second personal message...or leave it to the recipient to record their own. O Canada, perhaps? :-) The frame retails for $29.99 at Hallmark stores across the country.

This would make an amazing gift for any number of Canadian summer occasions: baby shower or birth, engagement, wedding, anniversary, graduation, retirement...what moment would you use it for? Standing in front of one of our country's monuments on vacation? Enjoying the Canadian wilderness? Or just to show off your favourite little Canadian(s)?

This giveaway is open to Canucks only, and is shorter than usual to wrap up at the end of Blog Bash week. I'll choose the winner after 11:59 p.m. on Friday, July 1st.

I just started using Google Docs for my giveaways, so please DO NOT leave a comment below as your entry. Instead, fill out the following form and click "Submit". That's it!



Just to recap: The comments section for this post is not connected to the giveaway. Please complete the form to be entered to win the Hallmark frame. If you have anything else you'd like to share, then feel free to comment away below! A note to GCBB visitors: this is the last week of school, so I won't be able to return too many visits until the final bell rings...but then I'll hop away!

Enjoy the Great Canadian Blog Bash!

Wednesday Words from Michael J. Fox

From the June 2011 issue of Today's Parent magazine:

"Always be available to your kids. Because if you say, 'Give me five minutes, give me 10 minutes,' it'll be 15, it'll be 20. And then when you get there, the shine will have worn off whatever it is they wanted to share with you. I've never gotten up to see something one of my kids wanted to show me and not been rewarded."

Michael J. Fox

Have You Thanked Your Child's Teacher Today?

Let me get this out of the way: I know several of my students' moms read this blog, and this is not a hint. I feel very valued and appreciated by you, and so my mission is to help ensure that other teachers out there feel the same way.

To those of you without school aged children, this tip can also apply to any sort of caregiver, daycare provider, etc. who likely spends more waking hours with your child than you do.

The end of a school year is a very natural time to let these special people know what they have meant to you and your child, and you don't necessarily have to spend a cent.

I promise you that the very best gift a teacher can receive is a heartfelt letter from you and your child outlining the best parts of the year, and what specific class trips, projects, units, and teacher's actions were memorable and helped to make the year positive. It has to be genuine, but hopefully your child's educator offered you something praise-worthy in 2010/2011!

If you insist on spending money, feel free to take a look at my What Teachers Really Want For Christmas article, but I swear: store-bought gifts are not the point.

I have several touching notes and cards that will forever remain in my "keep" file, because they mean so much to me, and give me the affirmation and strength I need to keep inspiring me in the classroom. This year, after sharing with parents that I was a little nervous about EQAO (our provincial standardized testing) one mom wrote me a beautiful letter about how she didn't care what the scores are, because I had provided her child with so much more than testing could ever show. (A tear-jerker, for sure!)

Yes, of course, we teachers are just doing our "jobs" (and here in Canada are paid very well for it) but "jobs" in this sector involve very personal and important relationships with your children, and a little bit of appreciation goes a long way.

I can guarantee at least fifteen* sets of parents that I have devoted my heart and soul (and many sleepless nights) to your children this year, and I'm surrounded by colleagues who have done the same.

On the flip side, I'd like to offer my own gratitude to the parents out there who make their child's education a priority: by checking and signing the agenda book, looking at homework, getting their child to school every day and on time, volunteering when possible, and communicating all concerns and questions. (My daughter is only finishing Junior Kindergarten and I already see that filling out the reading log and writing in the communication book takes effort!)

Forget gifts for the teacher: valuing education is one of the most important gifts you can give your own child.

* Yes, I only had fifteen students this year. Gotta love the primary class size cap!

Cars 2 Prize Pack Giveaway (CAN)!

Lightning McQueen and Tow Mater are back with some new wheels and fresh tracks in Cars 2, only in theatres June 24!

When star racecar Lightning McQueen (voice of Owen Wilson) and the incomparable tow truck Mater (voice of Larry the Cable Guy) head overseas to compete in the first-ever World Grand Prix, Mater gets caught up in an intriguing adventure of his own: international espionage!

To go along with the release of this much-anticipated sequel, I have a great prize pack to give away which contains:

• Cars 2 t-shirt (youth sizes)
• Cars 2 official movie poster
• Cars 2 temporary tattoos (2)
• Cars 2 bumper stickers (3)
• Cars 2 puzzle

There must be a little Lightning McQueen or Tow Mater fan in your life who would be thrilled to win this prize!

 

This contest is open to Canadians.

This is my first time using a new format for giveaways (Google Docs), so here it goes.

DO NOT leave a comment below. Instead, fill out the following form and click "Submit". That's it! I can access all of the entries in spreadsheet format, and will continue to use random.org to select my winners. (Email readers may have to click on the post title in order to access the form...this is the first time, so I'm learning here too!)

Extra entries if you can (honestly!) answer yes when asked if you:

• Follow This Mom Loves publicly on Google Friend Connect (see sidebar)
• Subscribe to This Mom Loves through email (see sidebar)
• Follow @thismomloves on Twitter
• Like Walt Disney Studios Canada on Facebook
• Like Cars on Facebook

If you win based on an extra entry, I will be checking to see that you indeed follow/subscribe/etc. So far I have never chosen a winner who hadn't been honest, so I'm not too worried.

The contest will run until 11:59 p.m. Eastern on Saturday, July 2nd 2011 (which just happens to be my birthday, in case you're interested!)

Good luck!

Fitness/Nutrition Excuses? TV Host Nadeen Boman Quashes Them All!

What better way to officially wrap up the first Food Week at This Mom Loves than with an expert interview?

I had a chance this week to speak with celebrity trainer and nutrition coach Nadeen Boman (you know her from Slice's "Last 10 Pounds Bootcamp" and "Bulging Brides").

Before our chat, I surveyed my readers for the biggest excuses as to why they don't exercise enough or eat properly. I shared these with Nadeen so she could offer her words of wisdom to kick all of you (us!) into gear. I'll warn you in advance: she's tough!

This Mom: The first excuse has to do with not having enough time for nutrition: being too rushed to make healthy lunches in the mornings, no time to make several trips to the grocery store for fresh produce, or to wash, peel, chop the healthy things that we should be eating. Any tips there?

Nadeen Boman: We don't have time if we don't plan for things, so if you can choose one day a week where you buy all your groceries, and then you come home and prepare them and get everything ready for the week ahead, then there's no excuse not to do it that way.

This Mom: The same "time" excuse came up a lot in terms of exercise as well: the kids are involved in extracurricular activities in the evenings, moms are up early and late doing chores, some have work commitments at night...how do we squeeze in the exercise we need?

Nadeen Boman: You know, we don't need a lot of time to do exercise, and it doesn't have to be that you go to the gym and work out for half an hour on the treadmill and then do some weights. You can do just a walk around a block, and if you're extra keen find a bench to do some pushups or stepups, or do some lunge walking. It really is just about staying active and moving around and not so much having to specifically work muscles, especially for people who can't fit that time in. The other thing is, they do offer half an hour training sessions now that you can book with a personal trainer, so if you do have the funds, that's a great way to utilize just a half hour, to specifically get in there and do it. That way you know you're covering all your body parts, you're getting a balanced workout in, and then you don't have the alignment issues that come from not spending time making sure you're getting stretched and getting your muscles worked in a balanced way.

This Mom: Several of my readers talked about taste, and the fact that sugary snacks just seem to taste better (especially because of cravings) and healthy things aren't always as appealing. What are some good-tasting foods that are still good for us?

Nadeen Boman: It's kind of a myth that healthy food doesn't taste good because we've become addicted to sugar. {I swear she was looking right at me through the phone line when she said this}. We crave it because we haven't gone through that withdrawal to get off it. {Did she say "withdrawal"? If this is a 'blog interview intervention' someone is going to pay! I am now looking around the room frantically.}

If you have a nice fresh salad with all kinds of different vegetables, some fresh chicken, shrimp or salmon in there, and throw on some strawberries or blueberries and pine nuts, that's a delicious-tasting concoction. There's no trick to it; it's a mental thing more than anything where we think it doesn't taste good, but try some different things out. My parents had never tried strawberries on their salad. I just introduced them to that the other day. We have this misconception in our mind, but until we try something I think we have to be open-minded about it.

This Mom: What about snacks? I know I'm an M and M's kind of snacker where I like little pieces of something I can munch on for a while...are there any healthy alternatives to those types of snacks?

Nadeen Boman: Edamame beans are good, or baby cucumbers, snap peas, baby carrots, cherry tomatoes, radishes...for protein, nuts are a great option as long as they're raw and not roasted, and again, one handful is a serving size; you don't want to go overboard as they are high in calories and fat. Popcorn can be a good snack too, especially if it's a choice between chips or popcorn, and as long as you're not soaking it in butter or salt.

The Bulging Brides team

This Mom: What about when you have kids who are picky eaters? Sometimes it seems like why bother making this fresh healthy meal if the kids are just going to turn up their noses at it?

Nadeen Boman: Well, my view is, make the kids do it! {Laughs.} People should force their kids to eat. I know that happened with us and sometimes it backfires, but it's harder when we get older, because you have to eat vegetables and you have to eat fruit. Maybe there's one or two that you don't like, but you can't have kids {or freakish mom bloggers?} saying "I don't want to eat any fruits or any vegetables", because they're just not going to grow up to be healthy people, and parents don't want that for their children. They want their kids to be healthy! So let your kids say that maybe they don't like liver or don't like brussels sprouts but for the majority of things I think we have to lead by example {whoops!} and say "This is healthy and it does taste good," and eventually they will start to like it.

This Mom: What about the issue of motivation? Sometimes TV or the internet are more appealing than getting up and moving, or our to-do list is long and exercise is continually bumped to the bottom.

Nadeen Boman: A lot of the time, we don't feel motivated because it seems like it's too overwhelming and too big a change. The Controlex product {which Nadeen is currently representing; more on it later} really works great as a breakthrough to get over a plateau or kickstart a new program because it gets you results right away. It doesn't take weeks to start working. You take that pill 15 minutes before you eat a meal, and you take it with a glass of water so you're staying hydrated, and it will curb your cravings so you're only eating as much as you need, you're not overeating. So right there, you're already cutting the calories and you're going to see results within a week or even a few days, but you'll even notice that first meal you're not eating as much because often we gain weight because we are overeating.

This Mom: I know you'd like to talk about Controlex. Can you speak to how it works, and how safe it is?

Nadeen Boman: Controlex is a natural, plant-based product, made of three ingredients: glucomannan, pepsin, and yerba mate. These ingredients work together to moderate hunger, so they're not suppressing your hunger, just making you feel fuller. It's done with water. The glucomannan absorbs 100 times its weight in water, and when we're overweight it's due to overeating, and our stomach size has been stretched out, so with Controlex, our stomach gets filled but not stretched. After we follow the regime for a while and reach our ideal weight, we can go off it without the risk of gaining weight back because we've developed healthy habits and our stomach has shrunk back down to size.

{This sounds way too good to be true...if any of you decides to try it, I would love to hear your feedback.}

This Mom: And it's a safe product?

Nadeen Boman: It's safe, with no known side effects. And it's not a miracle pill. It really works slowly and in a healthy way in conjunction with healthy eating and exercise. You can get it at Walmart for around $35, and there's a deal right now where the first 500 people to like the product on Facebook receive a free three-day trial, and they really can see if it works for them.

This Mom: Last question: my readers and I all share "momhood" in common. Any tips for incorporating the kids into our exercise routines?

Nadeen Boman: That's an interesting question, because they've done some research and there are some programs set up for resistance training with kids as early as five years of age, so we really can start doing workouts with our kids, and just going out to the park and doing lunges or line drills, playing tag...what kid doesn't like to do that, and the moms get the cardio in there. You can make fitness into a game with your kids, just doing it on the fly and chasing them around, and doing pushups and chinups and situps.

For more on Nadeen, including info on fitness training and meal plans, visit her website.

What's Eating Your Child?

Food Week will soon be wrapping up here at This Mom Loves (collective "awwwwww"!) and I wanted to share a fascinating book with you.

"What's Eating Your Child?", written by nutritionist Kelly Dorfman, reveals the hidden connections between nutrition and chronic childhood ailments (recurrent ear infections, anxiety, ADHD, stomachaches, picky eating, rashes, sleep issues, growth problems, etc.) and offers parents solutions.

As the back cover reads: "Why treat your child with drugs when you can cure your child with food?"

I was a bit skeptical at first, as I was worried that the book would be a little too "Eastern-Medicine-y" for me, but that's not at all the case. The underlying point is a good one: yes, medicine can treat certain issues, but if you can go back to the cause of the problem and eliminate it, why wouldn't you?

As a teacher, I almost always see huge improvements when a student diagnosed with ADHD takes medication. However, I'm no drug pusher. I would be even more thrilled if a nutritionist could solve the problem without requiring a prescription pad.

While I'd like to doubt some of Dorfman's findings, her case studies and science speak for themselves.

On the website for the book, Dorfman explains that while many informative nutrition books existed before hers, many of them were boring. Her goal was to write a book that would be not only useful but entertaining. Mission accomplished: her book is overflowing with nutritional information, but also engages the reader with real-life anecdotes and humour.

Some of my favourite points: 

• "We eat fast food because everyone else does...By showing continuous images of busy modern families grabbing burgers on the way to soccer practice or eating together at the local fried chicken establishment, the fast food industry has successfully defined the norm, and helped pattern our behaviour."
• Studies of identical twins with different diets have shown that picky eaters may have lower IQ's {I take offense to that one, although I have no twin to help me disprove it.}
• The difference between food allergies (which by definition cause a histamine response: itching, swelling) and intolerances/sensitivities
• Dorfman does recommend multivitamins for children, but avoid artificial colours and gummy-style multis which often lack B-vitamins.
• She is also a supporter of using Melatonin to help kids sleep (and note: it is not addictive, as it is a hormone which should be naturally produced in the brain. Taking a supplement just adds the extra that a particular child - or adult- may need to trigger sleep.) By the way, I've tried it for myself, and it works!

Here's the quote that hit home with me the most, as a "healthy" picky eater with a daughter who is a "healthy" picky eater:

"Nature is not wasteful. Everything you eat is expected to have value, and to get 100 percent function, you need to 100 percent of the diet working for you. If 20 percent of your diet is made up of empty sugar calories, then you're operating on 80 percent." Defensively, I think my little girl and I are just fine. However, how much happier, more energetic, and brainpower-boosted could we possibly be if we could function at even a higher level? Definitely food for thought. So to speak.

The one aspect of Dorfman's book that I know I cannot adopt is her "EAT" program program for picky eaters. "E" and "A" are fine: Eliminate irritants and Add foods one at a time, but I struggle with "T": Try one bite of this food each night for two weeks. Dorfman stresses that this can be difficult on parents, and offers scripts and reward ideas for getting through it, but speaking for myself, I would be traumatized if someone forced me to take even one bite of something that I knew I did not want to eat.

That one sticking point aside, the book is very detailed with a thorough index and FAQ section at the back. If your child suffers from any chronic problem, or you're just interested in learning more about the topic, I'd strongly recommend you check out "What's Eating Your Child?"

Visit the website at http://www.whatseatingyourchild.com/.

Disclosure: I received a copy of the book for review purposes. Opinions are, as always, my own. Why would I make this stuff up?