The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time

If you have a child with autism, work with a child with autism, or live in a world where children have autism, you really need to read The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon. I had never even heard of this book until a coworker suggested it to me (thanks, Trina!) and now I think it should be recommended reading for, well, everyone. Especially those supermarket-sneerers who think they can judge children while knowing nothing about them. To be fair, if you see my kids misbehaving or acting in a way you would consider odd, they have no excuse. However, the main character of this book does.

Told from his perspective, the story takes you inside the mind of a boy with autism (written by a man who has worked with such children) and it is truly enlightening to be a witness to this inner monologue that lower-functioning children could never hope to articulate. Plus there's a storyline. And some parts might make you cry. (That's coming from me...I do tend to cry at anything.)

Coincidentally, the latest issue of Entertainment Weekly profiles "The 100 Greatest Characters of the Last 20 Years", and this book's protagonist, Christopher Boone, lands in at number 92, on the same page as Napoleon Dynamite and Fargo's Marge Gunderson. High praise for what they call "the absolutely most reliable narrator".

Add it to your must-read list!

Having It All: Lessons From Mom

Mom has been teasing me lately that my blog is called This Mom Loves, and there has been little mention of her yet - therefore I must not love her very much! How far from the truth. As my mother prepares to retire from a career in teaching, I've been reflecting on what she has taught me about work, parenting and doing both at the same time.

When I was two months old, Mom returned to the classroom. That was a normal length of mat leave back then (can you believe that? I cannot imagine leaving my child at that age...for her sake or mine...thank God I live in a country that now values parental leave), and I'm sure money was a factor. I also know that my mom loved her job. Not so much that she would just leave me with anyone, though - I was looked after by her Aunt Diann, and although I have no memories of my first daycare days, I still think very fondly of Aunt Dee-Dee.

When my brother was born twenty months after me, Mom again took a short mat leave, and returned to work, this time bringing a terrific babysitter in to our home. Mrs. Clysdale even snuck us Honeycomb cereal...much tastier than our usual Cheerios! Although I was young, I do remember a few things from these years (like the time she brought me a new bubblegum pink plastic hairband, and I promptly sat on it and broke it, or the times she used to bathe Ed in the bathroom sink) and I still make sure to update Mrs. Clysdale on milestones in my life.

When we were four and two, Mom decided to stay at home for good. She quit her job and cashed out her pension, ready for a permanent at-home lifestyle. I have many memories of these days: the homemade cinammon pinwheels, riding to the corner in the wagon to catch the kindergarten bus. The funny thing is, I have never really asked her what made her decide to stay at home: whether it was pressure, (because I know my Grandma's a big stay-home-with-your-kids proponent), or if it was truly her heart's desire. I was reading a post the other day where a writer wondered what it would be like to have a first date with your mother, in order to really get to know her. Although I'm sure it would be very eye-opening, I'm quite comfortable with our friendly mother-daughter relationship. I think would be very bizarre and disconcerting to get to know her as an actual woman!

I do know that once Ed and I were both in school full time, she started to go nuts being at home all day. Although she's an avid reader, she has a hard time staying in one spot for very long. Plus, let's be honest, one income only provides you with a certain lifestyle. Many of you can relate to being home all day making no money, and therefore not being able to go out at night or on the weekends because there's no money to spend. She decided to reapply to the school board, and one fateful August day, got the call that there was a full-time position waiting for her. It's funny that the way she remembers the story, my seven year old brother cried and asked who would be waiting with cookies after school. In reality, the tears and question actually came from nine year old me, sitting at the dining room table believing that my world was falling apart.

In retrospect, I am unable to name any negative consequences of her decision to return to work. We only needed before and after care, which was provided by a neighbour who popped over to get us on and off the bus. Other than that, what difference did it make once we were at school? It was certainly fun to push her guilt button at times (hey, I learned the guilt-trick from her!), but we had grandparents to pick us up when we were sick, and we really didn't feel like they missed any of our events. Most of our classmates had parents who worked outside the home, so we certainly weren't the only ones. And Mom took personal leave days for important occasions, such as the day I made my confirmation stole.

I have learned so much about teaching from my parents, (the "Leahy look" has quieted many a student), although ironically they discouraged us from following in their footsteps, as we graduated during a time of labour unrest and low public opinion of teachers. Of course we didn't listen. My mother has also taught me, through example, about how to be a (good) teacher and a (good) mom at the same time. She often had marking or planning to do at night, and required us to pitch in on household tasks, but that taught me the effort necessary to make a family run (and perhaps contributed to a little bit to my neatfreakishness). She was always there when we needed her, but didn't suffocate or smother us in the meantime. (Honestly, had she not returned to work, I think the potential for smothering would have been way higher.)

Mom taught me that it's okay to want a family, and a career, and that it's possible to do both well. My job means so much to me, and I have never felt any guilt from my parents whatsoever about leaving my children at daycare in order to return to work. I mean, my brother and I turned out just fine. At least I did anyway. (Just kidding, Ed. You know, 'cause I'm sure you read this blog all the time; don't want you to be offended.)

So, thank you, mom, for inspiring me to 'have it all'...which I always have, thanks to you. See...I do love you!

How about my readers? Do you think your mother's work history has impacted on any choices you have made as a parent? Does she voice her opinions about your work situation, or stay out of your way? Do you try to follow her lead, or avoid her path? Does your mother-in-law play any role? (Mine was a farmer's wife who stayed home to raise NINE kids. I can learn a lot from her example as well, though I have no desire to keep up to her!) I'd love to hear what the rest of you have to say.

Looking for Ontario Moms

Update:

Thanks to all of those who volunteered to share your experiences for this article. I now have enough information!

Calling Ontario Moms...I'm working on a magazine article, and I'm looking to do a few interviews. If you're in Ontario and you've been on maternity leave recently, I'd love to ask you some questions through email.







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Little Leggings N' More Winner!

Congratulations to the winner of the $25 gift certificate for Little Leggings N' More...

Brittney P. (Metal Momma) from Oneida, TN! She was number 47 out of 77 valid entries, and her number was chosen through random number generation at random.org. I have contacted Brittney by email, and she will have 48 hours to reply.

Thank you for all of your entries! There's still time for my Canadian readers to enter the Scholastic Books Giveaway (ending June 17th), and stay tuned for another great prize coming soon!

A Few Birthday Party Ideas

Preface: If you are someone like a certain unnamed coworker of mine...okay, I'll just say it, it's Krista...then these ideas will seem pretty simple and, well, lame to you. That is why she has promised me that she will share her repertoire of kids' party themes (she always ensures that the decorations, games, loot bag contents, and toilet paper ALL coordinate with the theme - okay, just kidding about the toilet paper) and I will bring you a FANTASTIC post (or maybe even a series of posts) on that topic. However, if you're an average party-thrower, read on!

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My baby is now two years old. Little Maggie just celebrated her birthday, and while we keep our birthday parties pretty low-key at this age, I thought I'd share a few highlights.

Craft:

Although Maggie and her 17 month old cousin just observed the arts and crafts portion of the evening, I figured that Frannie, our nephew, and our five nieces in attendance would need something "to do", so I headed to the dollar store. I picked up a wooden hanging sign for each child, and a few different colours of acrylic paint. They went to town on their designs at the beginning of the party, and let the paint dry while we ate. (Cold meat and buns, if you must know. Can't get much simpler. Although I did roll up the slices of meat and put them on a fancy tray! Yeah, we're high class around here.) Okay, back to the crafts. Once the paint was dry, the kids used glitter, jewels and stickers to decorate. One thing I wish I had done is have more than one bottle of glue on hand. The kids got excited about writing their names in glue and then glitter, and it kind of took the wind out of their sails when they had to share one bottle amongst the seven of them. Definitely an activity I would recommend. And check out the masterpieces!

Cake:

Our usual baker (of Frannie's Fancy Nancy cake fame) put this dessert together for a retirement party we attended a couple of months ago, and we asked her to do the same for Maggie. She loaned us the innovative stand her husband made for her, and filled it with these adorable cupcake cones. If you've never seen this idea before, you'll be surprised to learn that these are not ice cream, they are cupcakes baked inside the cones and then decorated to suit (pink, white, and chocolate icing with little butterflies for Maggie). It was actually a beautiful centrepiece on the dining room table...while it lasted!

Gift:

As always, our daughter was completely spoiled, and every single gift she received was perfect. I'm including this one specifically to make my mother feel better. I had actually suggested that my parents get Maggie some sort of magnetic board that she and Frannie could use down in the family room with all of their girly magnets. The fridge works fine, of course, and we have all of our educational Fridge-Phonics stuff happening on it, but I wanted something for downstairs, since we spend a lot of time there (wouldn't you, with a red room this lovely?) With all of the new toys, books, lawn chair, sunglasses and clothing being strewn about during gift-opening, I think Maggie was a little too distracted to see the potential in the empty whiteboard propped in the corner of the room. I think this led Mom to believe that she didn't like it...which couldn't be further from the truth. Within minutes of waking the next morning, the fighting over it began...a sure sign of an item's popularity!

Loot Bag:

Seriously, don't you hate it when your kid comes home with crap? I mean, first, there's candy, but I don't even mind that because my kids have average diets, are very active, and, well, their mother is a junk-food junkie who shouldn't be a hypocrite. And it least it gets eaten and no longer takes up space! The plastic junk is another story entirely. I decided to go with something somewhat purposeful...a decorate-it-yourself mug, purchased at Michael's for less than two bucks each, complete with markers. Plus the attendees got to keep their lovely wall hangings. I had actually intended to do the mugs as a second craft during the party, until I came to my senses. I'm saving Frannie and Maggie's mugs for a rainy day.

Since our kids are still pre-school, we've been sticking with family-only parties (grandparents and godparents), but next year Frannie will be in school, and I'll be interested to see what trend is set by her peers. There are going to be six girls in the class, and having the other five over seems doable. Her birthday isn't until March, so someone else can set the standard. I'm sure it will make for another post topic.
Feel free to leave a comment and share any other party tips that have worked for you...or maybe you've already used some of the ideas here. (I tried to patent the cold meat and buns thing, but apparently I'm not the first to do it.)  I have designed This Mom Loves as a bit of a magazine..some personal essay content, some informational stuff, and some reviews and giveaways. My hope is that when you read one of my posts, in addition to being thoroughly entertained, you also take away a useful tidbit here and there, whether it be something you might try, buy, or just think about. (Plus I get to write about what I want, when I want, and use parentheses excessively just because!)

I do value my readers, so thanks for being here...and Happy Birthday, little Maggie!

Sex and the City 2: My Review

Here's my review in a nutshell: I liked it. I'd say the the first one was better, probably because the Abu Dhabi locale didn't do anything for me (I much prefer the NYC setting), and the Carrie/Big wedding drama was so intense in the original, but the sequel was still enjoyable.

Think of it this way: when you haven't seen friends for a while, it's nice to just get together, even if there's not a lot of exciting news to share. That's what this felt like: I had missed my girls, and it was great to see them again. Although at two and a half hours, they did wear out their welcome a bit.

It's ironic, but I kind of associate the franchise with my little girls. We've never had HBO, but when Frannie was born, my husband bought me a mini-TV/DVD for the nursery, and I caught up from the first episode to the last while nursing in the middle of the night. Then, the movie came out on the day Maggie was born...and I took her to the Stars and Strollers feature four days later. (Yes, that says four days. I guess it would be fair to say I'm a bit of a die-hard.)

Although I was easily distracted by the extravagance of these lifestyles that are so out of reach for me, motherhood is clearly an equalizer. When an overwhelmed Charlotte shut herself in the pantry to escape her daughters, I cried along with her. Been there, done that. Well, not exactly the same way. I rarely decorate cupcakes in my cream-coloured vintage Valentino skirt.

After this long, all of the characters feel like friends, and I can relate to each one differently - Charlotte's style and, well, uptight nature, Carrie's writing career* and taste for tall, dark and handsome, Miranda's workaholism, and of course Samantha's... um... okay, I don't relate well to Samantha, but my sisters-in-law, who went to the movie with me, thought that Kim Cattrall stole the show. And she's Canadian, so there's my connection.

*Admittedly no book deals or Vogue articles for me. Yet.

If you've always been a Sex and the City fan, you won't be disappointed, but if Carrie and gang have never been your cup of...Cosmopolitan, then this movie certainly won't change your mind.

Eating Out With Kids: The Ten Commandments

So, have you ever taken your children to a restaurant, only to live to regret it?

Either you said yes, or you are a LIAR, because I'm sure we've all had those experiences. That's why I wrote "Eating Out With Kids: The Ten Commandments", for the June/July issue of Peterborough, Northumberland and Lakeridge Kids, available now online.

Now, I hate cooking enough that eating out with my kids has to be truly awful to counteract the benefits of someone preparing, serving and cleaning up after my meal, but we've definitely had our share of painful restaurants visits.

Check out the article, and be sure to come back and let me know if you have a tip that I've missed. I'd also love to hear your restaurant horror stories...it's nice to know we're all in the same boat!

Hope and Heroes: Scholastic Books Giveaway!

I have terrific news! I've recently teamed up with Scholastic Canada, and I will be bringing you reviews of some of their best children's books, as well as fantastic giveaways for you and your family!

If you have school-aged children, you have likely seen Scholastic flyers come home, and I encourage you to purchase from them when possible. The prices are very competetive, especially for book sets, and every dollar you spend helps to earn free books and rewards points for your child's classroom. This year alone I have purchased close to 50 books for my class using free picks and rewards coupons, so it's certainly very valuable. The kids love awaiting their orders as well: it's like Santa has arrived when the secretary walks in with that brown package!

What you may not know is that Scholastic books are not only available through these flyers. You can find their publications, from board books right through to young adult titles, at your local bookstores as well. The books I will be reviewing here are all available nationwide, so if you don't end up being a winner, you can go out (or online) and purchase all of the titles yourself. Which you will want to do!

You might also want to visit the Scholastic Summer Challenge page, which offers kids the opportunity to read for the world record this summer, and includes age-by-age booklists to guide their reading.

On to my first review!

I'm starting today with the beautiful picture book "Hope Is An Open Heart", by Lauren Thompson. Although most of my readers are fortunate enough to live in comfort and security, this touching book helps encourage those families who aren't quite so fortunate, and helps teach our little ones how to cope with tragedy and strife. The book is also a call to action for those of us (including kids) who are in a position to make the world a better place. And in our own way, aren't we all?

I can remember in teacher's college, we often heard about the barriers faced by minorities, the impoverished, people with disabilities. These discussions always left me (white, middle class, able-bodied -- at least I wasn't a man!) feeling very guilty and embarrassed. When I mentioned this once in a paper, my professor wrote back and said that those who enjoy privilege need not feel guilty, but we should feel responsible for instigating change. What a good lesson to teach our children as well: that they indeed have the power to change the world for the better.

This book touches on such disasters as Hurricane Katrina, the tsunami in Sri Lanka, and the earthquake in Haiti; demonstrating how children were affected by these events, but then inspired to help or make changes. Every spread includes a gorgeous photograph, and a message about hope:

"Hope is your father's good-night kiss. Hope is remembering his kisses when he can't be there with you."

and one of my favourites:

"Hope is knowing that things change - and that we can help things to change for the better."

I read this book to my class (another one of their "Mrs. Winn cried again when she read to us today!" experiences...that's okay, right?), who thoroughly enjoyed it, and it would be excellent for sparking discussion with your own children at home. More information is given at the back of the book, explaining some of the specific stories that go with the photographs and messages.

"Hope is an Open Heart" would be a beautiful book to add to your child's collection.

And speaking of adding to your child's collection...on to our amazing giveaway!

Enter below to win not only a copy of "Hope is An Open Heart", but two other great titles which promote heroism and hope: "Terry Fox: A Story of Hope" by Maxine Trottier (30th Anniversary Celebration -- yes, it's been that long), and "Peaceful Heroes" by Jonah Winter, which heralds some of the world's bravest heroes who were willing to die, but not kill, for a cause. These books would be fantastic additions to a classroom as well. The retail value of this package is over $40.

To enter, simply leave a comment below sharing one hope that you have for your family. Please leave at least your first name, and enough info for me to find you should you be the winner (email, etc.) You could also leave a comment, and then send me your email address at katewinn77 at yahoo dot ca. 

For additional entries:


Leave a separate comment indicating that you are a This Mom Loves email subscriber.

and/or

Leave a separate comment indicating that you follow This Mom Loves publicly through Google Friend Connect.

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Leave a separate comment indicating that you follow me on Twitter @thismomloves, and tweet about this giveaway.

This contest is open to residents of Canada, and will close on Thursday, June 17th at 11:59 p.m., after which time a winner will be chosen by random number generation and contacted by email. The winner will have 48 hours to reply, after which time another winner will be chosen.

Good luck, and stay tuned for more great reviews and giveaways from This Mom Loves and Scholastic Canada!

Disclaimer: Future promotional titles will be provided to me free of charge by Scholastic. For this post, I reviewed my own copy of Hope is An Open Heart. All opinions are strictly my own, and I am under no commitment or obligation to recommend any Scholastic titles. Prize books are provided by Scholastic and will be shipped by them to the winner.