Friday, December 27

Looking For Input: Disciplining 9-11 year olds

Do you have a child between the ages of 9 and 11? I'd love to get some input for an article I'm working on about disciplining kids in this age group.

What "little kid" discipline techniques don't work anymore?
What behaviour issues begin to crop up at this age?
What strategies work well now?
Do you go with reward or punishment or a combination of both?
What motivates your child (e.g. having technology taken away, grounding, promises to have a special outing/purchase something, etc.)

If you have a response in mind for even one of these questions, I'd be thrilled for you to share it (you don't have to reply to everything, and I don't use real names without permission!) I love getting feedback from people I know, but it's also really important to get a range of viewpoints from moms and dads all over the country, so please don't think that your input doesn't matter - it does!

You can leave a comment below or e-mail me directly at katewinn77 at yahoo dot ca.

Thanks in advance for helping me with my holiday homework!


1 comments:

Sally said...

Great topic. Hmmmm, I'm still working on figuring out what works for my almost ten-year old. I'm know what doesn't work, haha. I find I usually need to explore what is behind the behaviour before I determine a punishment. There are different levels of misdemeanor too. For example, she may speak harshly or rudely and this can often be corrected with calling attention to it. Other times she may be caught up in her hormone-peak and troughs and isnt capable of reason. Those times I try to be understanding, opting for a gentle approach such as a huge, maybe draw her a bath and encourage her to calm down and figure out the problem. This works sometimes, and sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes she needs to be asked to go to her room until she can talk about whatever the problem has been. We have taken a hard stance on hitting siblings, and that results in a long time out in the children's bedrooms. We have also recently started using chores as punishments- especially if two children have been fighting, they end up doing the chore together. We always make them hug, say sorry to one another and say they love each other.
I remember too well how awful puberty was, how emotions were uncontrollable, how I would feel so angry for no reason. And I remember being criticized, and treated harshly (in my mind), I want my daughter to know I understand what she is going through and will do my best to support her and help her through it, when she wants to let me!